The truth is that while analyzing and strategizing and preparing ourselves can occupy our minds, and may even help prevent us from being hurt the same way twice, there is no substitute for giving the wound air, which in the case of the heart means saying deeply, without aversion or self-pity, "Ouch". " Mark Nepo
I have noticed in my own life and in others that people seem to return to the same predicaments over and over. In Mark Nepo's life he shares that his childhood upbringing caused him to experience rejection and to seek approval. In my own life, an experience I have revisited is misplaced trust. It is my nature to analyze why something happened to me, and, in some respects that is worthwhile. But, I agree with the quote above, that the most important thing is to fully feel the pain. That way we can move beyond the issue and not need to revisit the same scenarios again and again. We will have learned what was there for our soul to learn.
Feb 7, 2012
Feb 6, 2012
The vibration of love
"Amazing as it may sound, each and every one of our cells behaves like a miniature human. When we feel "in love," our cells have the vibration of love." Dr. Bruce Lipton
Much is being written nowadays about the body, its vibration, and how to have it vibrate at higher frequencies. The premise is that when the body vibrates at higher frequencies, it is healthier. The body vibrates at higher frequencies when it entertains thoughts of love, enthusiasm, peace, joy; and the body vibrates at low frequencies when it thinks of hopelessness, anger, despair. Several thinkers are now advancing the idea that we can help our bodies vibrate at higher frequencies by our thoughts, our emotions and by applying tapping sequences - perhaps along with affirmations. Jack Canfield is publishing a book on this type of tapping, and one can find information about a form of tapping at http://www.bodywisdom.com/ It seems that incorporating these practices into our lives is a good way to support our health while providing caregiving, or in any life situation. I have been doing the body tapping from http://www.bodywisdom.com/ for several months, and I do believe that it supports my body in health and contentment. A simpler form of body tapping is at www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDWIVZKcmTI
Much is being written nowadays about the body, its vibration, and how to have it vibrate at higher frequencies. The premise is that when the body vibrates at higher frequencies, it is healthier. The body vibrates at higher frequencies when it entertains thoughts of love, enthusiasm, peace, joy; and the body vibrates at low frequencies when it thinks of hopelessness, anger, despair. Several thinkers are now advancing the idea that we can help our bodies vibrate at higher frequencies by our thoughts, our emotions and by applying tapping sequences - perhaps along with affirmations. Jack Canfield is publishing a book on this type of tapping, and one can find information about a form of tapping at http://www.bodywisdom.com/ It seems that incorporating these practices into our lives is a good way to support our health while providing caregiving, or in any life situation. I have been doing the body tapping from http://www.bodywisdom.com/ for several months, and I do believe that it supports my body in health and contentment. A simpler form of body tapping is at www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDWIVZKcmTI
Feb 5, 2012
Ways to develop self-compassion
"Self compassion stresses living in the present moment, aware of one's own thoughts and feelings." Siegel & Hartzell
So, if self-compassion is the route to healthier self regard and a defense against depression and anxiety, how do we develop it more fully? Researchers have outlined several ways:
Gratitude: daily list 3 things that went well (an activity already recommended by this blog)
Gratitude: write a letter to someone who did something for us for which we are grateful
Savor: think about 2 experiences you found pleasurable today
Touch: give yourself a hug when you feel bad
Develop compassionate guardian images: imagine a physical representation of your ideal of compassion
Write compassionate letter: Compose a letter written from the above imagined compassionate guardian to you.
If love begins at home, what better way than to practice self-compassion toward oneself.
So, if self-compassion is the route to healthier self regard and a defense against depression and anxiety, how do we develop it more fully? Researchers have outlined several ways:
Gratitude: daily list 3 things that went well (an activity already recommended by this blog)
Gratitude: write a letter to someone who did something for us for which we are grateful
Savor: think about 2 experiences you found pleasurable today
Touch: give yourself a hug when you feel bad
Develop compassionate guardian images: imagine a physical representation of your ideal of compassion
Write compassionate letter: Compose a letter written from the above imagined compassionate guardian to you.
If love begins at home, what better way than to practice self-compassion toward oneself.
Feb 4, 2012
Self compassion research
"Self-compassion is different from self-esteem and contributes to many indicators of well-being." James Persinger
According to research by Gilbert and Procter, the key parameters of self-compassion are:
"Kindness involves understanding one's difficulties and being kind and warm in the face of failure or setbacks rather than harshly judgmental and self critical. Common humanity involves seeing one's experiences as part of the human condition rather than as personal, isolating and shaming. Mindful acceptance involves mindful awareness and acceptance of painful thoughts and feelings, rather than over-identifying with them.
Today, let us commit to the practice of self-compassion.
According to research by Gilbert and Procter, the key parameters of self-compassion are:
"Kindness involves understanding one's difficulties and being kind and warm in the face of failure or setbacks rather than harshly judgmental and self critical. Common humanity involves seeing one's experiences as part of the human condition rather than as personal, isolating and shaming. Mindful acceptance involves mindful awareness and acceptance of painful thoughts and feelings, rather than over-identifying with them.
Today, let us commit to the practice of self-compassion.
Feb 3, 2012
The month for the heart
"February is the month when we consciously review what touches our hearts." Angeles Arrien
During this month of February let us say aloud what is in our hearts. A person recently told me she regretted not enjoying her partner more while he was alive. Too many people live with regrets. Let us not let the job of caregiving take us away from what is important in life; and what is more important than to let people know you value them? So, let us take this month of February and think about what touches our hearts. For me, it is connections with those I love, enjoying nature, expressing myself creatively, continued learning, fun, continuing to evolve spiritually and humanly, time with someone with whom I can truly hear and be heard. What touches your heart?
During this month of February let us say aloud what is in our hearts. A person recently told me she regretted not enjoying her partner more while he was alive. Too many people live with regrets. Let us not let the job of caregiving take us away from what is important in life; and what is more important than to let people know you value them? So, let us take this month of February and think about what touches our hearts. For me, it is connections with those I love, enjoying nature, expressing myself creatively, continued learning, fun, continuing to evolve spiritually and humanly, time with someone with whom I can truly hear and be heard. What touches your heart?
Feb 2, 2012
Finding peace
"We could never have guessed we were already blessed where we are . . ." James Taylor.
Do you ever wonder what this caregiving is all about for you? If it serves a higher purpose? Someone said to me that wanting to find purpose in life was all about ego, but I don't think that is true. I seem to need to believe that what I am doing has some purpose. Myths have themes where a person is interrupted in his or her journey and undergoes some delays and struggles. Sometimes that seems to me what this caregiving is: a delay in the journey of my life. So much is put aside, while we provide care. Is it, like in the myths, a time for forging our souls and developing our strengths? I hope so. Perhaps we are very blessed where we are. Who would have guessed?
Do you ever wonder what this caregiving is all about for you? If it serves a higher purpose? Someone said to me that wanting to find purpose in life was all about ego, but I don't think that is true. I seem to need to believe that what I am doing has some purpose. Myths have themes where a person is interrupted in his or her journey and undergoes some delays and struggles. Sometimes that seems to me what this caregiving is: a delay in the journey of my life. So much is put aside, while we provide care. Is it, like in the myths, a time for forging our souls and developing our strengths? I hope so. Perhaps we are very blessed where we are. Who would have guessed?
Feb 1, 2012
Self compassion
"May I be safe. May I be peaceful. May I be kind to myself. May I accept myself as I am." Kristen Neff, PhD, University of Texas.
This is a self affirmation created by Dr. Neff and found in her book, Self Compassion. According to her research we can improve our health and happiness by embracing self compassion, instead of self criticism. One way to do this is to have a self-compassion journal. Each day write down anything you felt bad about for which you judged yourself harshly. Then write down how you felt. Next, remind yourself that being human means making mistakes. Finally, give yourself some loving-kindness by writing some kind, comforting words like: "It's okay. I understand how frustrating caregiving can be." A second way to build self compassion is by repeating affirmations, like the one above.
This is a self affirmation created by Dr. Neff and found in her book, Self Compassion. According to her research we can improve our health and happiness by embracing self compassion, instead of self criticism. One way to do this is to have a self-compassion journal. Each day write down anything you felt bad about for which you judged yourself harshly. Then write down how you felt. Next, remind yourself that being human means making mistakes. Finally, give yourself some loving-kindness by writing some kind, comforting words like: "It's okay. I understand how frustrating caregiving can be." A second way to build self compassion is by repeating affirmations, like the one above.
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