Karma

"In the Buddhist tradition, karma refers to action driven by intention (cetanā) which leads to future consequences." Definition of Karma

I love when I get to see evidence of karma.   We all have people who harm us.  Some years ago I had a woman cause me professional harm because of the stand I took that I knew from my training was in the best interest of the children involved.  Yesterday, I read in the paper where she has been found guilty in court of receiving money from the government under false pretenses.  It is not that I wish her harm, but I do wish (and I know it is in each of our own best interest) that we experience the consequences of our actions.  Karma:  we can know it is a universal law, and we can celebrate when we see it in action.

Facing Our Fears

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt

As caregivers, we will be called to do those things we think we cannot do.  I have always been squeamish about things medical people do, and, yet, as caregivers, we will find ourselves doing some thing for another's body that we never dreamed we would do.  We will make decisions on behalf of the other in areas we did not consider before.  We will continue to show up for the other person, despite the fact that the person we knew and loved is so little there any more.  We will do things we thought we could not do, and we will be better people for having done so.

Preparation is the Key

"If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I would spend six hours sharpening the ax."
 Abraham Lincoln

Preparation to avoid problems.  It is the basis of behavior management -- whether our own behavior or that of others.  If I want things to go smoothly, I prepare.  I am giving a talk at a church this Sunday.  To make sure that goes well, I have collaborated with the person who does the bulletin, with the musicians who are playing so that my message and their music interweave and support each other, I am giving thought and structure to what I will present -- the title is "Love is Everywhere", and, lastly, I will make sure I am centered and serene.  What does this have to do with caregiving?  Everything.  The more I prepare ahead of time, the better things go.  Today is my loved one's birthday.  I have ordered the cake, bought the plates/forks/napkins, have his gift, will pick up my daughter and granddaughter and we will go celebrate with him.  Tomorrow he has oral surgery which cannot be avoided.  I have arranged transportation, communicated multiple times with the care facility, and will arrive at the surgery center early to meet him.  Preparation is the key to serenity.  

We All Die

"We survive  . . . . . . and then we die." Ojibway Elder

Well, that is one way to look at life.  Truly, everything goes through a cycle:  birth, growing into maturity, decline, and death.  All we have to do is look at nature around us to see this process.  Or, we can look at life.  It is not lost on me that my beautiful granddaughter was born into the time that my spouse is dying.  Life in, and life out.  The same will be true for us.  For all of our lofty dreams and goals, at some point we will die.  Let us make sure that our life day-to-day is so good that death is irrelevant.

Challenges Bring Out Our Strength

"Every human is a stranger to her/his greatest strength and mightiest power, until the test of a great responsibility, a critical emergency or supreme crisis in life calls it out." Orison Swett Marden

Caregiving can be called a great responsibility, although it dims in comparison to what great figures of history have encountered.  Abraham Lincoln's greatness was called out from within his situation of freeing the slaves and holding the Union together.  Although small in comparison, our greatness can be called out by the caregiving that has been cast upon us.  How we show up, how we take care of ourselves while taking care of someone else, how we treat our loved one -- all can bring out the best of who we are.  It has long been a passion of mine to develop to my potential.  When I am at my best within this situation, I know caregiving is helping me to do just that -- to become more then who I previously was -- by dealing with the crisis of caregiving.

Enjoying Life

"Life is meant to be lived." Anonymous

Have you ever wondered what the point of it all is?  When you are with, or think of your loved one, with a debilitating, terminal disease, it is easy to wonder:  what is the point?  Is there something beyond the suffering, the uncertainty, the pain?  As caregivers, we will sometimes be discouraged.  I suggest we honor that.  Feelings are healthy and normal.  It is normal to be discouraged sometimes with the responsibilities of all we have.

Life's Lessons

"You have noticed that truth comes into this world with two faces.  One is sad with suffering, and the other laughs; but it is the same face laughing or weeping." Nicholas Black Elk

We often hear people say, "why do life lessons have to come in pain?", and it seems that many of life's lessons do come only through the experience of pain.  Pain seems to shake our sense of invincibility and make us vulnerable and open to what we are called to learn.  But, as the above quote says, we can also learn life's lessons through laughter.  Both are viable ways, although in our human condition, it seems that pain is what has the capacity to get our attention.  Perhaps if we chose to be willing to get our truths through laughter, more of them would come that way.