These simple tips can help you avoid eating more than you want: (from Mayo Clinic)
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|"Tart cherry juice could get you more shut-eye" Experimental Biology 2014|
As caregivers there are lots of interruptions to adequate sleep. Stress, over work, worry about finances, etc. can keep us awake for hours. This study showed that people who drank 8 ounces of tart cherry juice twice a day slept an impressive 84 more minutes per night than they did if given a placebo. Cherries have significant amounts of the hormone melatonin. Look for juice made from Montmorency tart cherries, which have the highest content of melatonin. This is a safe and nonaddictive way to support adequate sleep.
Aug 25, 2014
|"Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.|
Desmond Tutu said something similar, "Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us." I know from experience this is true. After all, is the other person damaged by our hatred and animosity? Not usually . . . . ., but we always are. We are damaged by our unforgiveness. It is as if we have a golden cord, energetically, which keeps us bound to the person we will not forgive. We can set ourselves free by forgiving: forgiving the other person for the harm, and by forgiving ourselves for holding onto the hurt. Although not easy, it is simple. We just need to decide to forgive. Who can you benefit from by forgiving today?
Aug 24, 2014
|"When we keep choosing between right and wrong, we spend our time sorting life rather than living it. " Mark Nepo|
As humans we seem wired to consider whether something or someone is right or wrong. We spend countless hours trying to prove we are right, countries go to war to prove they are right, relationships are strained because someone does something we think is wrong. The problem with that is we cut ourselves off from the goodness of life. Life is about experiencing our experiences -- rather than labeling the experience. Each person responds to and chooses to act differently in life -- Carl Jung called this an innate quality based on which combination of the 4 different personality types we are. We might have much more to gain by trying to understand each other, rather than by deciding the other person is just wrong.
Aug 23, 2014
|"1/3 of caregivers will die providing care, 1/3 will have their health damaged significantly, and 1/3 will come through the caregiving being better for the experience." Roslyn Carter Institute|
A friend of mine and of this blog, a caregiver whose husband died about 1 1/2 years ago, is dealing with a significant health issue. I am so sad about this, and it emphasizes the statistics quoted above. Caregiving is extremely stressful. That stress will take a toll, usually physically, unless we have sufficient support and unless we can prevent being consumed by the caregiving. Please do not let guilt or meddling relatives prevent you from getting the respite you need from caregiving. There is respite available. You deserve to have it. Please do not let these diseases take the caregiver along with the care receiver.
Aug 22, 2014
|"When you wish someone joy, you wish them peace, love, prosperity, happiness . . . all the good things." Alan Cohen|
Caregiving is a long road, and it is fraught with challenges and periods of despair. During the years that I was providing 24/7 caregiving, I often felt so overwhelmed that I was unable to make use of something I am quite good at: considering my options. Therefore, that is a good barometer for me: if I am unable to see and consider my options, my situation is too restrictive. I agree that when we wish someone joy, we wish them all good things; and I would add: that wish has to be directed toward ourselves first. Selfish? No, self preserving. It is too easy to lose oneself in the caregiving task. Research tells us that about 1/3 of caregivers will die providing the caregiving, and 1/3 will badly damage their own health by caregiving. That serves no one. Let us today wish ourselves and everyone else true joy -- knowing that all other good things are included in that wish.
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|"Be serene in the oneness of things and erroneous views will disappear by themselves." Seng-Ts'an|
Yesterday when I visited my loved one in the nursing home, he said, "You always come when I am in trouble." Sweet. He is so often not aware of things outside himself. It turns out he needed to use the toilet, and he had been unable to get the help he needed to accomplish that. He is so weak now that it took two aides to get him onto the toilet. It is fun to be with him when he is lucid. We talked about the phenomenal Little League female pitcher, Mone, and I found him a game to watch on television when I left. One of the aides told me quietly, "He is one of my favorites." It is so gratifying to know when he is being well cared for.
Aug 18, 2014
|"We grow spiritually much more by doing it wrong than doing it right." Richard Rohr|
If that is true that we learn more from doing it wrong, then that is a good way to look at all the mistakes that we, as humans, make. Abraham says that we cannot get it right, and we cannot get it done, so perhaps what we can do is learn as we go along and not make the same mistake twice. Sometimes - in wondering what the purpose of life is - we can get absorbed in the challenges; but, perhaps, the challenges are the only way that Life can really get our attention. And, it is in the challenges, that we learn and grow in our potential as humans. What if the purpose of life is to continue to become more fully who each of us was meant to be? Challenges can help us know and to develop who we are.
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"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." Dalai Lama