"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." John F. Kennedy
This is the month that some countries celebrate the holiday, Thanksgiving, and it seems like a good time for all of us to remember to be grateful. A friend recently wrote that she was feeling some negative feelings about driving early in a large city when she looked around her at examples of people who were homeless, and this shifted her attitude to being grateful for all she had. Any one of can look around and be grateful for what we have. Even in the role of caregiver for someone with dementia, we can see people who have it worse; far worse, actually. So, today what is one thing for which you can be grateful? For the month of November let us each day think of a new thing about which to be grateful. Today my one thing for which I am grateful is that I am going for a walk with my daughter.
Nov 7, 2011
Nov 6, 2011
Action
“Don’t hope – decide.” Tsering Dokkar Sherpa
In my years in psychological practice, it seems that the thing that keeps people mired is their lack of action. They stay in the mulling, considering, hoping; and do not move to action. A very wise therapist taught me that there are always at least three options in any situation, and I think she is right. So, when faced with a dilemma or any decision to be made, think of at least three options. Choose the one that seems best to you, which may mean that it is the one with the least negative consequences. And, act on that choice. That is the path to good mental health. Think of at least 3 options, choose among them, and act on the one chosen. If, at any point you feel you have taken the wrong path, repeat the process of thinking of 3 options, choosing one, and acting on it. An easy technique for better mental health.
Nov 5, 2011
Omissions
"Not only our actions, but also our omissions, become our destiny." Abraham Verghese
I have been reading a delightful novel, Cutting For Stone, by the above author. Although fiction, it is based on his experience in Ethiopia and the U.S. The above quote is such a good reminder for us. Whenever we make a decision, it is inevitable that other options are ruled out: they are omissions. And, as such, omissions shape our destiny just as actions do. So, it is prudent that we choose carefully. In our roles as caregivers and in life in general, it is wise to prudently choose among our options -- because both the choice and the omissions shape our lives.
I have been reading a delightful novel, Cutting For Stone, by the above author. Although fiction, it is based on his experience in Ethiopia and the U.S. The above quote is such a good reminder for us. Whenever we make a decision, it is inevitable that other options are ruled out: they are omissions. And, as such, omissions shape our destiny just as actions do. So, it is prudent that we choose carefully. In our roles as caregivers and in life in general, it is wise to prudently choose among our options -- because both the choice and the omissions shape our lives.
Nov 4, 2011
Resource
" HABIT stands for Healthy Actions to Benefit Independence and Thinking. HABIT doesn't cure those patients with memory loss who participate. Instead, the program offers several tools unique in addressing the condition of mild cognitive impairment and caregiving." Mayo Alzheimer's newsletter.
If anyone lives near the Minnesota Mayo Medical Facility, the above program sounds promising. It sounds like it helps to create an environment in which problems are eliminated/lessened -- what I aim to do through knowledge of behavioral management. Any ways in which we can enhance our skill level and prevent problems is optimal, and this program sounds like an avenue to accomplish that.
"HABIT is a 50-hour program for individuals recently diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment and a program partner. It's offered several times each year on the Mayo Clinic Campus in Rochester, MN. To learn more about the HABIT program go to": http://mayoresearch.mayo.edu/alzheimers_center/habit.cfm
If anyone lives near the Minnesota Mayo Medical Facility, the above program sounds promising. It sounds like it helps to create an environment in which problems are eliminated/lessened -- what I aim to do through knowledge of behavioral management. Any ways in which we can enhance our skill level and prevent problems is optimal, and this program sounds like an avenue to accomplish that.
"HABIT is a 50-hour program for individuals recently diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment and a program partner. It's offered several times each year on the Mayo Clinic Campus in Rochester, MN. To learn more about the HABIT program go to": http://mayoresearch.mayo.edu/alzheimers_center/habit.cfm
Nov 3, 2011
Accomplishments
"I have the right : To take pride in what I am accomplishing and to applaud the courage it sometimes takes to meet the needs of my loved one." Jo Horne's Caregiver's Bill of Rights
And, I would add, the courage it takes to meet our own needs within the caregiving role. I have felt as if I have a virus or sinus infection stalking me. Low energy, congestion. And, just like when I had small children, there are still meals to prepare, other tasks - despite not feeling optimal physically. Even in the best of health, caregiving is taxing. So, let us take pride in how well we take care of the needs of our self and the person for whom we provide care.
And, I would add, the courage it takes to meet our own needs within the caregiving role. I have felt as if I have a virus or sinus infection stalking me. Low energy, congestion. And, just like when I had small children, there are still meals to prepare, other tasks - despite not feeling optimal physically. Even in the best of health, caregiving is taxing. So, let us take pride in how well we take care of the needs of our self and the person for whom we provide care.
Nov 2, 2011
Individuality
"I have the right: To protect my individuality and my right to make a life for myself that will sustain me when my loved one no longer needs my full-time help." Jo Horne, Cargiver's Bill of Rights.
Have you ever thought what your life will be like once you are no longer in this caregiving role? Perhaps, like me, you sometimes even have trouble imagining a life after this. But, we will have lives that continue, unless we are part of the 1/3 of the caregivers that die doing this task (according to research at the Roslyn Carter Institute). The intention of this blog is to help us NOT be part of that percentage. So, let us today consider: what will my life be like when I am no longer caregiving? Let us plan to have a life we can anticipate with pleasure.
Have you ever thought what your life will be like once you are no longer in this caregiving role? Perhaps, like me, you sometimes even have trouble imagining a life after this. But, we will have lives that continue, unless we are part of the 1/3 of the caregivers that die doing this task (according to research at the Roslyn Carter Institute). The intention of this blog is to help us NOT be part of that percentage. So, let us today consider: what will my life be like when I am no longer caregiving? Let us plan to have a life we can anticipate with pleasure.
Nov 1, 2011
Taking care of yourself
You really need to take care of yourself because you won't be good for anyone else unless you take care of yourself.
-- Harry Bartholomew
The 5th right in Jo Harne's Caregiver's Bill of Rights is: "I have a right to reject any attempt by my loved one (either conscious or unconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, anger or depression." This is a particularly good one for me, as my upbringing trained me to be suceptible to feeling guilty if I displease someone. And, let us not fool ourselves, the person with dementia is capable of using manipulation to get us to do what he or she wants! Dwane has sometimes used our wedding vows as a reason why I should enable him to stay home by providing caregiving; which is amusing when one considers aspects of his own history.
I am providing caregiving because I think it is the right thing for me to do in these circumstances for now. And that is the only reason I am doing it.
Please do not allow the person for whom you are providing care manipulate you into thinking you have to do any aspect of this caregiving.
-- Harry Bartholomew
The 5th right in Jo Harne's Caregiver's Bill of Rights is: "I have a right to reject any attempt by my loved one (either conscious or unconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, anger or depression." This is a particularly good one for me, as my upbringing trained me to be suceptible to feeling guilty if I displease someone. And, let us not fool ourselves, the person with dementia is capable of using manipulation to get us to do what he or she wants! Dwane has sometimes used our wedding vows as a reason why I should enable him to stay home by providing caregiving; which is amusing when one considers aspects of his own history.
I am providing caregiving because I think it is the right thing for me to do in these circumstances for now. And that is the only reason I am doing it.
Please do not allow the person for whom you are providing care manipulate you into thinking you have to do any aspect of this caregiving.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)