You really need to take care of yourself because you won't be good for anyone else unless you take care of yourself.
-- Harry Bartholomew
The 5th right in Jo Harne's Caregiver's Bill of Rights is: "I have a right to reject any attempt by my loved one (either conscious or unconscious) to manipulate me through guilt, anger or depression." This is a particularly good one for me, as my upbringing trained me to be suceptible to feeling guilty if I displease someone. And, let us not fool ourselves, the person with dementia is capable of using manipulation to get us to do what he or she wants! Dwane has sometimes used our wedding vows as a reason why I should enable him to stay home by providing caregiving; which is amusing when one considers aspects of his own history.
I am providing caregiving because I think it is the right thing for me to do in these circumstances for now. And that is the only reason I am doing it.
Please do not allow the person for whom you are providing care manipulate you into thinking you have to do any aspect of this caregiving.
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