Considering What We Hold Dear

"Only that which we hold dear will be strong enough to hold us as we cross into the holy land." Mark Nepo

Nepo is referring to an old myth -- that pilgrims were able to cross a river and enter the holy land only if they contributed what they held dear for the common good of the group.  It seems relevant to the way we lead our lives.  Only when we contribute what we hold dear are we truly impacting life.  How we spend our time, the effort we make towards other people, the talents we develop and share.  We cannot hold onto these things, clutching them to our chests, hoarding them.  Only when given the light and shared are they truly ours and do we, then, truly impact the world around us.

Change your Habits: Change your Life

What can we change in our daily lives that will change the quality of our lives?  Probably many things, but, for sure, the quality of our thoughts.  Also, it would seem, is how we spend our time, which I have been considering again.  I started work again to help offset the cost of my loved one's care, but I feel fragmented, overwhelmed.  So, I am reconsidering.  What is important to me?  Peace of mind and quality time with those I love.  As I consider how I spend the 24 hours I am given each day, I know I will come to a place of balance.  Is your life in balance?  Are you spending time doing what you love?  Is the way you spend your time in alignment with what you value?  Such important questions to consider.  

Changing Our Experience

"It can be very helpful to understand that you do have a point of attraction and that you can control it. And your best opportunity to control it is when you first awaken each morning. It doesn’t take long to transform your point of attraction; 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 days of waking up in nonresistance and then deliberately focusing to maintain your state of lesser and lesser resistance will make a big difference in how you feel and the things that come into your experience. You will begin to receive insight and positive manifestations such as good-feeling emotions and good ideas will begin to flow to you."

---Abraham

This seems like one good way to change one's life circumstances, and it coincides with what psychology tells us -- that it takes about 30 days of doing something for a behavior to become a habit.  More and more people in the spiritual and quantum physics worlds are saying that we largely control our life experiences -- by our beliefs and our attitudes and our thoughts and emotions.  It is well worth our time to consider this way of making our lives better.  

Believing Behavior

"When people show you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou

So many times the people who come for therapy are surprised by another person's behavior -- because that behavior is not matched by words.  For instance, a person might notice that someone is not doing what he or she said they did.  My advice is:  trust the behavior. When behavior and talk are not congruent:  trust the behavior.  That does not mean that we need to write the other person off, but it does mean that we might alter to what extent we want to trust what that person says. What does this have to do with caregiving?  Even with someone with dementia, trust that their behavior is telling you something.  Perhaps they are in pain, or have a urinary tract infection, or are dehydrated, or are anxious.  We can learn much by observing another person's behavior.  

How to Love Well

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."
Thomas Merton

We all know of relationships in which one or both people will try to change in the other person the very thing that first attracted them to the other person.  Perhaps we have even been in those types of relationships ourselves.  It is ironic, but it is almost always the things that first attracted us that begin to get under our skin.  The well informed person, who becomes the person who talks too much.  I am sure you know what I mean.  Thomas Merton is right.  The only remedy is to let those people we love be entirely and perfectly themselves.  Truly, that is what we love about them.  And, we can expect the same back.  To be loved well enough that we are loved for our essence, and not for how we can change for the other person.

Uniquely You

"You are the only version of you that this universe will ever know.  This is wonderful and disturbing news.  Wonderful because it speaks to the majesty of Creation, and disturbing because it means that no one else can ever really know your truth." Jim Lockard

We have all heard it before.  Just like there are no two snowflakes exactly alike, so too are there no two humans exactly alike.  This is wonderful because only you can make the difference you make in this world.  Much like the old movie with Jimmy Stewart, life simply would not be the same without you.  Knowing the unique impression we have on life; we can make sure that the difference we make is a positive one (because this is a choice -- whether to be a positive or a negative presence).  And, it is also disturbing that we are unique -- because no one will ever perfectly understand you.  Nor will you perfectly understand someone else.  Since our essence will pass through this life only this once, let's make sure we make the impact we want to and of which we are capable.  Only you - with your unique energy - can make your positive difference with the people in your life.

Cold Sore Remedy

"Lysine is an amino acid (building block of protein).  Lysine seems to prevent the herpes virus from growing." WedMD

I am susceptible to getting cold sores.  I went into a health food store because I was nearer to it than a drugstore or pharmancy, and they recommended Lysine gel applied to the lips.  Using this lysine gel has helped stop a cold sore for me better than any other thing I have ever done.  According to wedMD, a reputable website, lysine seems to be safe to use for short periods.  

It is so useful to share easy, safe remedies for common ailments.  What have you found that works for you?