Jan 31, 2014
Importance of Laughter
Jan 30, 2014
Time Spent Caregiving
"On average, caregivers spend 20.4 hours per week providing care. Those who live with their care recipient spend 39.3 hours per week." caregiver.org
It is amazing how much time is spent caregiving. Today I left my home at 7:20 a.m. to pick up the care receiver and take him to a 9:00 a.m. dental appointment. The dental appointment was 2 hours long, making it too late to take him back to the assisted living facility for lunch, so I took him to lunch. It took him over 1 1/2 hours to eat 1/2 sandwich and a cup of soup. Over 6 hours. And, that is just one of 4 recent medical appointments.
On days like today, it is even more important to not lose our enthusiasm about life.
Jan 29, 2014
Reality of Caregiving
"Alzheimer's disease is a boomers' disease. And young people should care about Alzheimer's because they're going to end up taking care of their parents -- financially, emotionally and physically. At the rate of every 68 seconds someone in America develops Alzheimer's." Maria Shriver
Shriver is, of course, talking about Alzheimer's Disease, but the cost of caregiving applies to any of us providing caregiving for someone with dementia. The same emotional, physical and financial cost applies to caregiving for someone with Lewy Bodies Dementia, which is the second most-occurring form of dementia. And, it does not even have to be dementia. It can be physical illness or disability that causes the need for caregiving. Most of us are going to be doing some aspect of caregiving in our lives, and most of us will receive some type of caregiving. It is wise to plan ahead. Unless you are at the upper or lower ends of personal assets, it is prudent to have longterm care insurance. Very wealthy people can afford to pay for the care themselves, and people in the lower economic ranges can qualify for financial assistance. I also think we need to be realistic about whether we want to provide the care or pay for the care. I have done both. I exited my professional life to provide caregiving for over five years. I also tried paying someone to come into our home, which was met with extreme resistance by the care receiver -- so, I was left with the choice of letting the caregiving kill me too or placing him in an appropriate and caring facility. These decisions are very personal, and - in my opinion - need to be made very consciously -- out of loving kindness toward ourselves and the care receiver.
Shriver is, of course, talking about Alzheimer's Disease, but the cost of caregiving applies to any of us providing caregiving for someone with dementia. The same emotional, physical and financial cost applies to caregiving for someone with Lewy Bodies Dementia, which is the second most-occurring form of dementia. And, it does not even have to be dementia. It can be physical illness or disability that causes the need for caregiving. Most of us are going to be doing some aspect of caregiving in our lives, and most of us will receive some type of caregiving. It is wise to plan ahead. Unless you are at the upper or lower ends of personal assets, it is prudent to have longterm care insurance. Very wealthy people can afford to pay for the care themselves, and people in the lower economic ranges can qualify for financial assistance. I also think we need to be realistic about whether we want to provide the care or pay for the care. I have done both. I exited my professional life to provide caregiving for over five years. I also tried paying someone to come into our home, which was met with extreme resistance by the care receiver -- so, I was left with the choice of letting the caregiving kill me too or placing him in an appropriate and caring facility. These decisions are very personal, and - in my opinion - need to be made very consciously -- out of loving kindness toward ourselves and the care receiver.
Jan 28, 2014
Positive Self Regard
"In loving ourselves, we love the world. Yet, how do we love ourselves? I can only say that loving yourself is like feeding a clear bird that no one else can see," Mark Nepo
Loving oneself is a prerequisite to loving others, and it seems a very difficult thing for humans to do. Humans seem to range from too much bravado (which is actually not self love) to self-defacing. The goal here is pure self regard: to care about oneself as much as one would a dear, dear friend. That means no more negative comments about our physical bodies or our behaviors. It means treating ourselves gently, eating food that is good for us, doing exercise that strengthens our bodies, practicing thoughts of positive content toward ourselves. This may seem selfish, but it is not. It is only in loving ourselves in a healthy way that we can also love others.
Loving oneself is a prerequisite to loving others, and it seems a very difficult thing for humans to do. Humans seem to range from too much bravado (which is actually not self love) to self-defacing. The goal here is pure self regard: to care about oneself as much as one would a dear, dear friend. That means no more negative comments about our physical bodies or our behaviors. It means treating ourselves gently, eating food that is good for us, doing exercise that strengthens our bodies, practicing thoughts of positive content toward ourselves. This may seem selfish, but it is not. It is only in loving ourselves in a healthy way that we can also love others.
Jan 27, 2014
Seeing The Possibilities
"Every particle of creation sings its own song of what is and what is not. Hearing what is can make you wise; hearing what is not can drive you mad." Ghalib, Sufi poet
Even centuries ago Ghalib knew that if one looks at what is right in the world, one is more content -- and, being more content, more pleasure naturally occurs. It is such a simple, but not necessarily easy, task: to orient oneself to what is going right in the world, rather than what is going wrong. For every act of terrorism, there are countless, undocumented acts of kindness. For every illness, there are countless who are well. For every injustice, there are many acts of justice. The people who teach that how we think and feel magnifies and brings into our life more of what we are thinking and feeling seem to be right. The more I see what is very, very good about my life; the more goodness appears. It is simply a matter of orientation.
Even centuries ago Ghalib knew that if one looks at what is right in the world, one is more content -- and, being more content, more pleasure naturally occurs. It is such a simple, but not necessarily easy, task: to orient oneself to what is going right in the world, rather than what is going wrong. For every act of terrorism, there are countless, undocumented acts of kindness. For every illness, there are countless who are well. For every injustice, there are many acts of justice. The people who teach that how we think and feel magnifies and brings into our life more of what we are thinking and feeling seem to be right. The more I see what is very, very good about my life; the more goodness appears. It is simply a matter of orientation.
Jan 26, 2014
Developing Our Potential
"To throw the human self to the winds carelessly is not only an ignorant choice; it is also wasteful. We are sorrowful when a child dies, because we think of all he or she might have done. We, too, live in that same potential, wherever we find ourselves. What else lies ahead for us to turn attention to?" Margaret Stortz
I listened to a webcast recently of Barbara Marx Hubbard. She is author of Birth 2012 and believes, among others, that on December 22, 2012, there was the birth of a new consciousness: one of peace, harmony, tolerance. She says whether this consciousness manifests or not depends on us human individuals developing our consciousness to that higher level. This is an extraordinary message, and what is even more extraordinary is that Barbara is 85. She is still developing her potential and advising us to do the same. A dear friend recently helped me see that developing my own potential and supporting others to do the same has always been a life passion and purpose for me. What else is there for you to do? We who are caregiving might think there is no time for anything else, but we are being called daily - in my opinion - to be more than we were the day before -- in whatever setting one finds oneself. What is it you are being called to today?
I listened to a webcast recently of Barbara Marx Hubbard. She is author of Birth 2012 and believes, among others, that on December 22, 2012, there was the birth of a new consciousness: one of peace, harmony, tolerance. She says whether this consciousness manifests or not depends on us human individuals developing our consciousness to that higher level. This is an extraordinary message, and what is even more extraordinary is that Barbara is 85. She is still developing her potential and advising us to do the same. A dear friend recently helped me see that developing my own potential and supporting others to do the same has always been a life passion and purpose for me. What else is there for you to do? We who are caregiving might think there is no time for anything else, but we are being called daily - in my opinion - to be more than we were the day before -- in whatever setting one finds oneself. What is it you are being called to today?
Jan 25, 2014
Sensitive People
"Highly sensitive people are empathic; they feel and absorb the energy and emotions of others in a sometimes visceral way. Highly intuitive, they have a level of compassion and awareness that drives them to want to help others and be of service in the world." Jennifer Kass
I am not sure where Jennifer Kass gets her information, as she does not cite research sources; but she says that about 10% of the population are highly sensitive. I have often been told that I shouldn't be so sensitive, but - after reading her article -- I see sensitivity as a gift. Sensitive people are tuned in to their bodies and their surroundings. We know intuitively if food and people and conversations are good for us. Or not. People who are highly sensitive do well to eat food that is directly from its source and to avoid negative people -- something I have learned on my own. We also cannot abide violence. Watching Downton Abbey recently where there was an act of brutal violence against one of the characters kept me awake for hours. It is not that I am not aware the character and act are not real; it is just that seeing violence in some way is a violence against myself. If you are highly sensitive, it is good to eat good food, seek positive people, and to monitor thoughts so that they are supportive and nurturing.
I am not sure where Jennifer Kass gets her information, as she does not cite research sources; but she says that about 10% of the population are highly sensitive. I have often been told that I shouldn't be so sensitive, but - after reading her article -- I see sensitivity as a gift. Sensitive people are tuned in to their bodies and their surroundings. We know intuitively if food and people and conversations are good for us. Or not. People who are highly sensitive do well to eat food that is directly from its source and to avoid negative people -- something I have learned on my own. We also cannot abide violence. Watching Downton Abbey recently where there was an act of brutal violence against one of the characters kept me awake for hours. It is not that I am not aware the character and act are not real; it is just that seeing violence in some way is a violence against myself. If you are highly sensitive, it is good to eat good food, seek positive people, and to monitor thoughts so that they are supportive and nurturing.
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