We Are Nearing the End

"Be serene in the oneness of things and erroneous views will disappear by themselves." Seng-Ts'an

A lot of caregiving is waiting.  Waiting for the next level of decline, waiting for the infection to respond to antibiotics, waiting for a moment of lucidity.  I know we are nearing the end.  He is out of bed only for some soft food.  He is often not cognizant or lucid.  We are managing his discomfort.  Today a music therapist is going with me to play the harp for him.  I have begun to plan his burial.  Macabre?  I do not think so.  I want him to be remembered for the good man he is, and planning will help ensure that.  

Aging Well

"The single greatest contributor to aging is lack of body movement, and just walking does not significantly help the muscle decline."  Miranda Esmonde-White

What does help, according to Esmonde-White, is stretching and weight bearing, and she says it does not have to be machines nor weights, but just the weight of your own body.  She has free examples, or one can buy her video -- Classical Stretch, in what is reported to be a research-based way of exercising all muscle groups so that one does not lose as much muscle mass as we age.  And, we can start at any age and improve our posture, our health and our appearance.  Let's do it.

Focusing on the Positive

"Get so fixated on what you want, that you drown out any vibration or reverberation that has anything to do with what you do not want." Abraham

What is most important to you?  For me it is my spiritual path and connecting with people I love.  It is important for us to know what is important to us because then we can make choices in alignment with those values.  People are surprised that I drive 2 hours to see my loved one several times a week.  Sometimes it seems irrelevant to him that I have come.  But, that is not the point.  The point is that I show up in the lives of people who matter to me.  What is important to you?

The Ongoing Effects of Karma

"Ever notice that how you treat people in your life today is the single best factor in determining how people in your life tomorrow, even totally different people, will treat you?"  TUT

How do you treat service people?  I have noticed over the years that a person can tell a lot about people in how they treat service people.  Last night I was having trouble with the self-check registers at the grocery store.  The clerk and I eventually had fun with the fact that I needed to call her over three times for help (and I earned a living one summer working at a grocery cash register in college!).  I think both her day and mine were improved by our playful interaction over problematic computer transactions.  How do you treat people?  It is important to consider.

The First Rule of Proper Nutrition

"Proper hydration is a critical factor in maintaining and improving your mind as you age."
 Dr. Daniel G. Amen

The brain is 80% water, so proper hydration is key to good health and good cognition.  According to Dr. Amen even slight dehydration increases the body's stress hormones, which decrease one's ability to think clearly.  Over time, increased levels of stress hormones are linked with memory difficulties.  Current recommendations are to drink 8-10 glasses of pure water every day, along with lots of water-rich foods.  This is one, easy way we can support our health.  

Honoring Our Wisdom

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant.  We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." Albert Einstein

This is an interesting quote from one of the greatest rational minds in history.  We, who are caregivers, are intuitive, and we can use that gift on behalf of ourselves and our loved one.  We know what we know.  We often know what our loved one wants or needs before anyone else does.  We also know what we want and need, and it is so important that we honor those wants and needs.

I went to visitation this week to support a woman I love whose husband just died of dementia and breathing constraints.  Soon, you and I will be the ones holding the visitation -- or whatever ceremony you choose to have.  Supporting one another is so important as caregivers.

Taking Time for Renewal

"We need hours of aimless wandering or spates of time sitting on park benches, observing the mysterious world of ants and the canopy of treetops." Maya Angelou

As caregivers, we probably do not allow ourselves the spate of time to sit on benches and observe the mysterious world of ants and the canopy of treetops, but we would benefit from making that time.  For instance, last night was a meteor shower.  Did you get to see it?  I love watching and listening to the wind blow the branches of the pine trees surrounding our home -- it is as relaxing to me as being with the rhythm of the ocean waves.  There is something about nature that is rejuvenating.  Let's take time to enjoy it.