"I can choose peace, rather than this." Course of Miracles
Dr. Dyer suggests that whenever one is feeling agitated or annoyed, that we can consciously choose to be at peace rather than react to the annoyance. He suggests several tools for remaining at peace: schedule some alone time every day, meditate every day, stop yourself when you are making your peace dependent upon outer circumstances, practice thinking peace, become a peacemaker, make peace with yourself, enjoy time in nature. I find that it is true that one always has a choice about whether or not to react to external circumstances, and I have noticed that I am much more likely not to react if I am at peace. There will be mishaps when a person is a caregiver for someone with dementia: spilled liquids, remotes turned nonfunctioning, things lost and misplaced. Those mishaps are a given. What we have control over is how we treat such mishaps. A technique I use is to consider: how important will this event be in one week, one day, or one year? That usually helps me put into perspective the smallness of the event. Let's choose to be at peace. For our own health, if for no other reason.
Feb 21, 2012
Feb 20, 2012
Rosemary
"Its (Rosemary's) scent can protect the brain from free radicals, which can cause dementia." Prevention Magazine March 2012 page 134
Scent can be powerful in its effects on the body and memory. A scent can take a person back to a memory very quickly. I remember the first time as an adult I smelled udder balm (which Dwane used on his chapped hands), I was taken instantly to the memories and setting of my father's dairy barn. Similarly, scents can help us sleep (lavender), improve our mood (rose), and help protect us from dementia. As caregivers for someone with dementia, we need to be vigilant to not let this disease take us along with it. Growing rosemary indoors is one easy preventative.
Scent can be powerful in its effects on the body and memory. A scent can take a person back to a memory very quickly. I remember the first time as an adult I smelled udder balm (which Dwane used on his chapped hands), I was taken instantly to the memories and setting of my father's dairy barn. Similarly, scents can help us sleep (lavender), improve our mood (rose), and help protect us from dementia. As caregivers for someone with dementia, we need to be vigilant to not let this disease take us along with it. Growing rosemary indoors is one easy preventative.
Feb 19, 2012
Misery
"Misery is a moment of suffering allowed to become everything. It is the giving over to smallness that opens us to misery." Mark Nepo
Yesterday I hurt my knee by banging it against the doorframe while stepping over something. Hurt! I was reminded how a small hurt like that can become the focus of our thoughts, our conversations, our lives. How many people do you know who list their many ailments, like medals won? It seems that is living in a place where one would invite more of what is the most present topic of conversation. So, how do we avoid misery? By looking wider than what was hurt. This applies to being hurt by actions or words of someone else too. It does not help us, in my opinion, to dwell on what was done -- except perhaps to glean the small kernel of truth in it for us. Instead, let us aim at taking things less personally. Yes, my knee hurt. Was it reflective of my whole life? By no means.
Yesterday I hurt my knee by banging it against the doorframe while stepping over something. Hurt! I was reminded how a small hurt like that can become the focus of our thoughts, our conversations, our lives. How many people do you know who list their many ailments, like medals won? It seems that is living in a place where one would invite more of what is the most present topic of conversation. So, how do we avoid misery? By looking wider than what was hurt. This applies to being hurt by actions or words of someone else too. It does not help us, in my opinion, to dwell on what was done -- except perhaps to glean the small kernel of truth in it for us. Instead, let us aim at taking things less personally. Yes, my knee hurt. Was it reflective of my whole life? By no means.
Feb 18, 2012
Simplicity
"I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion." Lao-Tzu
I like keeping things simple, and I think it is good for our human nature to do so. Keeping things simple eliminates a lot of the drama that can be so distracting in life. AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) even has a motto about simplicity: KISS (Keep it simple, stupid). I would rather not use the derogatory name calling, but the idea is the same. So, what is keeping it simple? Part of it is being direct. If we are direct and people are direct with us, confusion in communication is eliminated. How many times have you pondered what someone really meant by what they said? That happens when people are not direct. Some of us are taught to be indirect as children. We are taught that our needs are not important (which, of course, means that we are not really important), and we learn not to ask directly to have our needs met. So, we hint around, saying we sure are tired; when what we really want is someone else to do the dishes. It takes less energy and causes less confusion to be direct. Want help with the dishes? Ask someone to help with the dishes.
Practicing simplicity, along with patience and compassion, are sound ways to live our lives.
I like keeping things simple, and I think it is good for our human nature to do so. Keeping things simple eliminates a lot of the drama that can be so distracting in life. AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) even has a motto about simplicity: KISS (Keep it simple, stupid). I would rather not use the derogatory name calling, but the idea is the same. So, what is keeping it simple? Part of it is being direct. If we are direct and people are direct with us, confusion in communication is eliminated. How many times have you pondered what someone really meant by what they said? That happens when people are not direct. Some of us are taught to be indirect as children. We are taught that our needs are not important (which, of course, means that we are not really important), and we learn not to ask directly to have our needs met. So, we hint around, saying we sure are tired; when what we really want is someone else to do the dishes. It takes less energy and causes less confusion to be direct. Want help with the dishes? Ask someone to help with the dishes.
Practicing simplicity, along with patience and compassion, are sound ways to live our lives.
Feb 17, 2012
Peace
"Try not letting anyone who does not come in peace into the territory of your true being." Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Such good advice. Sometimes people may wonder why a person chooses to not be around them any more, and it is important to not willfully hurt someone, but . . . . . . more important is being true to yourself. I find there are just some people it is not good for me to be around. They are not bad people; they just affect my peace adversely. I have always loved the line in Desiderata: "Avoid loud and aggressive persons. They are vexations to the spirit." I agree. And, part of self care in this role as caregiver for someone with dementia, is to allow within our space only those people who bring us peace. Because, if they bring us peace, of course, they also bring themselves peace. Those are the people to have among our support system, and this is the type of person to be ourselves. Peace makers. That does not mean we are weak or that we cannot stand up for something we believe in; what it does mean is that being at peace is the natural state for us.
Such good advice. Sometimes people may wonder why a person chooses to not be around them any more, and it is important to not willfully hurt someone, but . . . . . . more important is being true to yourself. I find there are just some people it is not good for me to be around. They are not bad people; they just affect my peace adversely. I have always loved the line in Desiderata: "Avoid loud and aggressive persons. They are vexations to the spirit." I agree. And, part of self care in this role as caregiver for someone with dementia, is to allow within our space only those people who bring us peace. Because, if they bring us peace, of course, they also bring themselves peace. Those are the people to have among our support system, and this is the type of person to be ourselves. Peace makers. That does not mean we are weak or that we cannot stand up for something we believe in; what it does mean is that being at peace is the natural state for us.
Feb 16, 2012
All is well
"If you know that all is well, you know all you need to know. And if you know life is supposed to be fun, you know more than almost anybody else knows." Abraham
What if the above statement is true? In any given moment, usually, all is well. What if life is supposed to be fun, rather than a chore or an event with lessons to be learned? I have a tendency toward being anxious, and one of the practices I implemented long ago was to say as a mantra or affirmation, "All is well." I say it while breathing until I really feel that all is well. It might be something worth trying when you are feeling anxious.
What if the above statement is true? In any given moment, usually, all is well. What if life is supposed to be fun, rather than a chore or an event with lessons to be learned? I have a tendency toward being anxious, and one of the practices I implemented long ago was to say as a mantra or affirmation, "All is well." I say it while breathing until I really feel that all is well. It might be something worth trying when you are feeling anxious.
Feb 15, 2012
Research volunteers needed
"There are over 5 million Americans today living with Alzheimer's and 14.9 million Alzheimer's caregivers . ." Angela Lunde, Mayo Clinic Newsletter
The latest Mayo Clinic Alzheimer's newsletter is about the opportunity to participate in research designed to help prevent and treat people with Alzheimer's Disease. It might be very worthwhile to check into participating in a study being conducted, and if you would like more information, you can obtain it at:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alzheimers/HQ00217/?utm_source=Alzheimers&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TargetedNewsletter
It might be a good Valentine's gift for yourself and the person for whom you provide care: to be part of making a difference in this debilitating disease.
The latest Mayo Clinic Alzheimer's newsletter is about the opportunity to participate in research designed to help prevent and treat people with Alzheimer's Disease. It might be very worthwhile to check into participating in a study being conducted, and if you would like more information, you can obtain it at:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alzheimers/HQ00217/?utm_source=Alzheimers&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TargetedNewsletter
It might be a good Valentine's gift for yourself and the person for whom you provide care: to be part of making a difference in this debilitating disease.
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