- To be asked about their needs, goals and preferences.
- To easily know where to find the help and resources that match their preferences, values and financial situation.
- To know how to arrange breaks and have the financial assistance and community resources to do so.
- To be offered information, support and practical strategies on how to cope with runaway emotions such as guilt, anger, resentment, worry, isolation.
- A core group of individuals who support without judging.
- A community that accommodates rather than isolates.
- A nation that recognizes their contribution as the backbone of our broken health care system and, in doing so, creates policies and systems that support caregivers and reward their contribution." Mayo Clinic Newsletter
Jul 7, 2013
How Can You Support A Caregiver?
"Family caregivers need:
Jul 6, 2013
Caregivers Need Support
"Many caregivers feel as if every day is the longest day. The popular book "The 36-Hour Day" reflects that notion. In another great book, by Gail Sheehy, called "Passages in Caregiving," she says that the vast majority of family caregivers are swept in with no preparation or training for the role they're expected to perform or the transitions they'll face. They're unprepared for the emotional toll that accompanies the journey." Mayo Clinic Newsletter
Not only are we unprepared, but it is very difficult to get the support and information we want and need. I am grateful for family and friends who support us and who help educate me. A sister was just here who helps to bring out the best in Dwane. A friend invited both of us to her house for a July 4th picnic, and it was so good to have Dwane out with people who engage him and help him. A daughter who visits him, a son-in-law who mows our lawn. The above newsletter is about caregivers needing support. Some websites that give good information are: Eldercare Locator elder-care.gov), AARP (aarp.org), and either Lewy Bodies Dementia (lbda.org) or Alzheimer's Association (alz.org).
Not only are we unprepared, but it is very difficult to get the support and information we want and need. I am grateful for family and friends who support us and who help educate me. A sister was just here who helps to bring out the best in Dwane. A friend invited both of us to her house for a July 4th picnic, and it was so good to have Dwane out with people who engage him and help him. A daughter who visits him, a son-in-law who mows our lawn. The above newsletter is about caregivers needing support. Some websites that give good information are: Eldercare Locator elder-care.gov), AARP (aarp.org), and either Lewy Bodies Dementia (lbda.org) or Alzheimer's Association (alz.org).
Jul 5, 2013
Futility of Worry
"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength." Corrie ten Boom
For sure. It seems human nature to worry. We worry about others' reaction to what we might decide, we worry about impending health or financial challenges, we worry about weather events. Scientists say that most of our thoughts are either negative or redundant -- and I would venture that a large part of that negativity is either worry or judgment. Both are so destructive to the human soul and psyche. Let us try, for just today, to abstain from worry and from judgment of our self and of others. Our physical and mental health will improve if we eliminate these two habits: worry and judgment.
For sure. It seems human nature to worry. We worry about others' reaction to what we might decide, we worry about impending health or financial challenges, we worry about weather events. Scientists say that most of our thoughts are either negative or redundant -- and I would venture that a large part of that negativity is either worry or judgment. Both are so destructive to the human soul and psyche. Let us try, for just today, to abstain from worry and from judgment of our self and of others. Our physical and mental health will improve if we eliminate these two habits: worry and judgment.
Jul 4, 2013
Happiness and Being Present
"People who dwell on the past and future are less likely to be happy than people who concentrate on the present." Jeffrey Kluger
An interesting article on happiness in the most recent Time magazine. The American Declaration of Independence is unique in that it guarantees citizens the right to "the pursuit of happiness". These words can be found in Thomas Jefferson's own writing. It is said that he meant public happiness is the test and justification of any government. This is the first time that happiness for the governed is put at the center of importance in government. How important is it for you to be happy? Sometimes we must choose between our own happiness and health over the wishes and demands of others. As caregivers, I think we must be particularly vigilant to be guardians of our own happiness. If not, the disease -- whether dementia or something else -- will rob us of our happiness -- and of our very health. On this day celebrating Independence in America, let us be sure to be guardians of our own independence. Our happiness depends upon it.
An interesting article on happiness in the most recent Time magazine. The American Declaration of Independence is unique in that it guarantees citizens the right to "the pursuit of happiness". These words can be found in Thomas Jefferson's own writing. It is said that he meant public happiness is the test and justification of any government. This is the first time that happiness for the governed is put at the center of importance in government. How important is it for you to be happy? Sometimes we must choose between our own happiness and health over the wishes and demands of others. As caregivers, I think we must be particularly vigilant to be guardians of our own happiness. If not, the disease -- whether dementia or something else -- will rob us of our happiness -- and of our very health. On this day celebrating Independence in America, let us be sure to be guardians of our own independence. Our happiness depends upon it.
Jul 3, 2013
Criticism
He has the right to criticize who has the heart to help.
-- Abraham Lincoln
Have you ever noticed that in most groups or organizations, those who criticize the most were those who had little to do with something getting done. It is said that what we criticize in others includes shortcomings that we are reluctant to see in ourselves. It can give us insight into ourselves when we pay attention to what annoys us. I read recently that when we are angry, it usually means that we have been quiet too long about something. I notice that is true for me: that I can go along with things and be flexible, but then it seems a line can be crossed and I am annoyed. I want to recognize earlier when my boundaries are being violated, when I am being taken advantage of, when someone is making unfounded demands of me. Recognizing this early, I can so "No" at that point, and save myself from being angry later.
-- Abraham Lincoln
Have you ever noticed that in most groups or organizations, those who criticize the most were those who had little to do with something getting done. It is said that what we criticize in others includes shortcomings that we are reluctant to see in ourselves. It can give us insight into ourselves when we pay attention to what annoys us. I read recently that when we are angry, it usually means that we have been quiet too long about something. I notice that is true for me: that I can go along with things and be flexible, but then it seems a line can be crossed and I am annoyed. I want to recognize earlier when my boundaries are being violated, when I am being taken advantage of, when someone is making unfounded demands of me. Recognizing this early, I can so "No" at that point, and save myself from being angry later.
Jul 2, 2013
Our Physical Bodies
"We are made up of the same particles as the stars, the planets, the nebulae. Our bodies are a community of trillions and trillions of particles -- all in motion, all vibrating, all active." Dr. Jim Lockard
I think we tend to think of our bodies as solid, dense; but they are not. Our bodies are made of particles, which have huge spaces between them. Our bodies are particles in motion. Perhaps it is gravity which makes our bodies seem dense. Because our bodies are particles in motion, the thoughts we choose affects them. Thoughts of higher vibrations -- love, appreciation, joy -- vibrate at a higher frequency than thoughts of fear, sadness, hopelessness. Our bodies are affected. We can increase our health by thinking thoughts of higher emotional frequency. Every part of our body and spirit benefit when we think thoughts of appreciation and gratitude. What are you grateful for today? I am grateful that we have some respite from the heat, and I am grateful for family members and friends who joined me in celebrating my birthday.
I think we tend to think of our bodies as solid, dense; but they are not. Our bodies are made of particles, which have huge spaces between them. Our bodies are particles in motion. Perhaps it is gravity which makes our bodies seem dense. Because our bodies are particles in motion, the thoughts we choose affects them. Thoughts of higher vibrations -- love, appreciation, joy -- vibrate at a higher frequency than thoughts of fear, sadness, hopelessness. Our bodies are affected. We can increase our health by thinking thoughts of higher emotional frequency. Every part of our body and spirit benefit when we think thoughts of appreciation and gratitude. What are you grateful for today? I am grateful that we have some respite from the heat, and I am grateful for family members and friends who joined me in celebrating my birthday.
Jul 1, 2013
Minding Our Own Business
"Don't go hoeing in someone else's psychic garden. What if their pain is exactly what their soul needs for its growth? There is no way for you to know the lessons that will best serve them." Dr. Carleton Whitehead
As caregivers, whether we like it or not -- and I do not like it, we have to take some control over someone else's life. That has been the hardest part of caregiving for me: to interject my control over someone else's will. We, as caregivers, do have to take some control; there is no way around it, but we do not have to try to save the person from the feelings he/she may be having about their situation. As caregivers, we do have to ensure safety and dignity for the person, but we cannot make their life perfect --- and perhaps that is good for their soul. If we admit it, our lives are not perfect either, are they? Challenges are a part of life, and if dealt with, can be very good teaching points for our souls.
As caregivers, whether we like it or not -- and I do not like it, we have to take some control over someone else's life. That has been the hardest part of caregiving for me: to interject my control over someone else's will. We, as caregivers, do have to take some control; there is no way around it, but we do not have to try to save the person from the feelings he/she may be having about their situation. As caregivers, we do have to ensure safety and dignity for the person, but we cannot make their life perfect --- and perhaps that is good for their soul. If we admit it, our lives are not perfect either, are they? Challenges are a part of life, and if dealt with, can be very good teaching points for our souls.
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