Handling Stress

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   "Battling stress is an art -- literally. Painting and drawing improve the brain's ability to bounce back under pressure." University Hospital Erlangen, Germany
   
   

   In this study done in Germany, retired people who painted or drew once a week for 10 weeks demonstrated greater psychological resilience.  Creating visual art improves the connection between brain regions associated with resilience, the quality that helps us deal with stress.  I know as caregivers we have precious little time to do something that sustains us, but it is critically important -- and this study suggests it be art.  I love to oil paint, but I have not for several years now, because of the demands of caregiving.  Perhaps I can get back into it.  What sustains you?

Realness of Hallucinations

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   "He who loves his brother abides in the light." 1 John 2:10
   
   

   Yesterday when I saw my loved one, he described in specific detail how he had gone to the courthouse that morning to be approved to vote, and he had met and talked with Teddy Roosevelt.  Later, when I was wheeling him back into his room, he grabbed the sides of the door frame and screamed.  When I checked to see what his fear was, he said I was wheeling him through a glass window pane.  It is so hard to see him tortured by his hallucinations.  

Acknowledging the Good

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   "Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance." Eckhart Tolle
   
   

   So many spiritual teachers are saying the same thing.  The practice of appreciating the good in our lives brings more good.  It seems to be a universal rule.  Some suggest that we develop a practice of thinking of 3 new things every day for which we are grateful.  It stretches us into looking at many different things because we soon use up the obvious ones, and then we have to think more deeply about those things for which we are grateful.  Today I am grateful for the good health of many in my family, for the blessings of clean air and water, for prosperity in all its forms.  I could focus on the extreme expense of my loved one's care -- at over $8000 a month -- or I can focus on gratitude that I can pay it.  Always.  It is our choice.  What are you grateful for today?

Skin Care

1. •  Regardless of cost, the most effective nonprescription skin care routine is to use sunscreen during the day and a moisturizer at night or after bathing.  Mayo Clinic

   

   It is hard to tell which ones are effective among all the products that we can purchase to put on our skin, but according to Mayo Clinic, only broad-based sunscreen and retinol - a vitamin A antioxidant, and alpha hydroxy have demonstrated effectiveness in research to help protect our skin and to diminish wrinkles.    Retinol, a vitamin A antioxidant compound that helps prevent skin cell breakdown may also promote production of collagen, which gives skin its fullness.  

   Alpha hydroxy acid is an ingredient that helps remove the upper layer of old, dead skin and stimulate growth of smooth, evenly pigmented skin.   So, perhaps we can save money by buying only the skin products that are effective.  

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Changing Ourselves

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   "Wanting to reform the world without discovering one's true self is like trying to cover the world with leather to avoid the pain of walking on stones and thorns.  It is much simpler to wear shoes." The Hindu Sage Ramana Maharshi
   
   

   An amusing way to reflect to us that change must start with ourselves.  It is a tenacious trap to get into thinking we can change another person.  It is impossible, unless he or she wants to change.  Our time is much better spent changing ourselves.  Self-help books abound nowadays, but one does not necessarily need several or even one of those.  All one needs is the desire to look at one's own behavior, instead of projecting it out onto others.  One great clue is when anything about someone else bugs us -- we can be certain there is something in that for us to take a look at about ourselves.  It may not be that the quality in the other person is one you express, but it may mean that the quality in the other person is one you need to accept you could do -- given the right circumstances.  Be gentle with ourselves, and, it is certain, we will also be gentle with others.

Choosing Love Over Fear

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   I believe that every single event in life happens as an opportunity to choose love over fear.
   --Oprah Winfrey

Every single event?!  I do think that those who profess that there is only love and fear may be right. Fear is what keeps us from achieving our potential, experiencing the full extent of joy and love, and facing situations that could help us grow.  Fear is powerful in hindering us, BUT it is not as powerful as love.  One quick way to get to love is to think of what you appreciate about a certain life circumstance -- even those difficult situations.  Caregiving, for example, what is there that one can possibly appreciate about caregiving?  For me, deciding to close my psychological practice and take my loved one on the trips he wanted to experience before he died, helped me to reconsider my priorities.  When it became apparent to people who love me that it was time for my loved one to move into assisted living, I can appreciate not only their love and intervention, but also the removal of huge amounts of stress.  What is there in your life about which to be appreciative?

Life's Lessons

1. 

   "What we need to learn comes when we need it, no matter how old or young, no matter how many times we have to start over, no matter how many times we have to learn the same lesson." Mark Nepo
   
   

   I have certainly found that in my life.  Sometimes I think that I should have learned this from the last experience like this one; but learning in life is like layers on an onion -- we heal one layer and live with that for awhile, and then life presents another opportunity to heal the next layer.  We are never too old to have life present its lessons to us, and I think it is important that we not feel bad when a similar lesson comes along.  It can mean that you are ready for the next level of lessons regarding this subject.  The lessons usually are based in love:  learning to love ourselves and others more fully.