"My intention is to illuminate the challenges and rewards inherent in the caregiving passage -- to identify universal patterns in the chaos and give the journey a form that makes sense." Gail Sheehy.
Gail Sheehy's book, Passages of Caregiving, outlines her 17 years of providing caregiving to her husband as he died of cancer; a situation with some similarities and considerable differences from what we are doing as dementia caregivers. Her stages may be of some help, although I have the interior caution of knowing that the Stages of Grief outlined by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross and subscribed to by many for many years has recently been debunked by research. Still, it may be helpful to know that one does go through phases as a caregiver. Sheehy's stages are:
1. Shock and mobilization: Advocate with authority
2. New Normal: Turn illness into opportunity
3. Boomerang: Summon a family meeting
4. Playing God: Accept what you cannot change
5. I Can't Do This Anymore! Create a circle of care.
6. Coming Back: Replenish Your Lifelines
7. The In-Between Stage: Prepare Your own path to comeback
8. The Long Good-bye: Love is letting go, Together.
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