Many have written about love. It has been romanticized, trivilialized, idealized. I like what Marianne Williamson says about love, "By affirming that love is our priority in a situation, we actualize the power of God." But what is love? There is the "tough love" of chemical dependency -- where a person does what is best for another person despite that person's wishes. There is enmeshed love, codependent love. Perhaps a pure example of love is the love a parent might have for a child. Uusally in that relationship we truly want what is best for the child.
How does one act out of love? A rule of thumb I use is that my intention is to say and do what is in the highest and best good of the other person, because that is usually in the highest and best good for me as well. I have developed the habit of only saying to another person what seems to be in his/her best spiritual interest. That, of course, eliminates gossip and criticism. It does sometimes involve reflecting to a person that their behavior does not appear to be in their best interest.
Even in living with dementia I use this guiding rule. My intention is to act and speak whatever is out of the greatest love for Dwane and for life and for us all.
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