Nov 13, 2010

Great men and women

"The great men and women of all time have been gentle, gracious, and loving, though commanding persons," James E. Dodds.

So, in considering caregiving as a hero's (gender-neutral) journey, the qualities of gentle, gracious, loving - and also commanding seems apt. The commanding can mean taking a stand with the person with the terminal illness on issues affecting their own or our well being, but it also applies to advocating for their good treatment outside the home. One of the persons at P.T. (physical therapy) speaks in a very loud voice to Dwane. He is not deaf. I have seen people do that before with a person with disabilities. I choose not to correct the person, but to model appropriate behavior.

It seems that the hero's journey is being called upon more here because in the last 3-4 weeks we have been experiencing a significant decline in functioning. These downward slides into a new "norm" of functioning are hard for me, and they represent an opportunity for me to take extra care and gentleness with myself.

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