Self Care

It was suggested to me that among the topics that I might present to a coaching group that I consider presenting self care, since it is so important when one is caregiver for a person with a terminal illness. The trip to Italy is an example for me of how important self care is. It took me several days to adjust to being back, to being able to sleep. I attended a lady's spa activity yesterday and the massage showed me how tight I was in my neck and shoulders. I think this is in direct relationship to how vigilant I had to be in making sure Dwane was safe outside our familiar home setting. My daughter, who thankfully insisted on picking us up at the airport - after 24 hours of flying, pointed out to me how much I check on Dwane's safety. Making sure he knows where we are going, making sure he gets out the revolving door, making sure he has all his possessions. This was amplified in Italy. Making sure he was with us, making sure he was on the sidewalk so that he did not get hit by a scooter, making sure he had his umbrella, making sure he understood where we were going, making sure he got on the bus before the door closed. I loved our time in Italy, and it went so well. I do want to acknowledge, however, that it took a lot of attention and energy on my behalf to make it a good/safe experience.

Self care is so important. If we are not taking care of ourselves, we cannot be helpful to others. Massages, good diet, exercise, fun, companionship, finding meaning in life: all are examples of good self care. And attitude: Perhaps that is the most important of all. Looking for the good in all things. As Depak Chopra said, "If you want to transform your karma to a more desirable experience, look for the seed of opportunity within every adversity, and tie that seed of opportunity to your dharma, or purpose in life." That is the basis of my intention in living graciously with the terminal illness of dementia.