"As we stroll through the stimulating streets on the first free walk since bringing Scott home, engaged in intimate engrossing conversation that I had somehow forgotten could happen, I am stabbed by an awareness of all I've lost," Alix Kates Shulman.
Nearly done reading her book, To Love What Is, I am still struck by the similarities of my emotions compared with hers. Similar too was my resolve to "sign on without a moments hesitation" and the despair when I realized this was going to continue perhaps significantly longer than I first considered. Differing in our reasons for signing on, hers seems vaguely based on the vows "in sickness and in health", while mine is based on my spiritual principles (nothing is more important to me than to discern the spiritual meaning from the events in my life and to develop my full human potential); our singular purpose of supporting our spouse in health resonates. She set aside her love of solitude and the work that was important to her, as I also have done. The loss of stimulating and intimate conversation is a huge loss for me, as it seems to be for her.
The book is a good read to see how one woman and man are coping with brain injury, the losses the caregiver experiences, the changes in the person with the brain injury, and some of the resources found to support. She, also, found the book, 36 Hour Day, most helpful.
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