The Long Process of Grieving

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.”  C. S. Lewis
Being a caregiver for someone we love is a long, long process of grieving.  Even though we know in our intellect that the one for whom we are providing caregiving has a terminal illness, the reality of living with that decline is quite different from knowing it intellectually.  And, fear is a part of it.  I fear that we have reached a new normal, and that normal is significantly below what was just one week ago.  One week ago today I took my care receiver to the dentist and out to lunch.  Two days later he awoke significantly confused with hallucinations.  Even now, a week later, he is not who he was just a week ago.  It is so very, very sad.  I have ordered him new adaptive clothing, and I hope he will wear it -- as it will make his own life and that of the caregivers so much easier.  Yes, we are dealing with the death process, but I have to admit that Woody Allen had a point when he said he did not want to be around to see it.