Honoring the Grief Process

"When you've been devastated by any form of loss, your're inevitably going to come in contact with people who harm you with their insensitive comments, their platitudes, or their abandonment.  Some of these people will be be among your friends and family; those who supposedly love you most.  This is a fact we don't like to admit, but it's the truth."  Tim Lawrence

A dear friend sent me the link to this article, www.timjlawrence.com.  It speaks to the truth of what people will assume about our grief.  I was with a group of women recently who talked about another woman whose husband died a couple months ago who was already dating.  The women had strong opinions in all directions.  While, as a psychologist, I know that rushing into another relationship is not allowing oneself to grieve the loss, none of us can second guess what another person's grieving is.  I love what Tim Lawrence suggests:  that we just hold the space for the person who is grieving.  We acknowledge -- without words or advise -- their loss. Lawrence goes on to say, " Let me and every other grieving person do one thing:  grieve.  Just acknowledge my grief."