"I always stress the importance of self-care to the caregivers I encounter. I have seen reports that spousal caregivers will often die before the person with Alzheimer's disease...," Angela Lunde, Mayo Clinic's Alzheimer's Newsletter (under Mayo Clinic Health Information).
Yikes! Grim statistics that we must avoid. And how do we do that? Since these are the statistics, it may very well be necessary that we blaze our own trail;; a way we have never experienced or seen. We can find good information, such as the Mayo newsletter. They suggest we: accept help from others, don't give in to feeling guilty, get informed about what we are dealing with, join support groups, stay connected with people who care about us, commit to staying healthy, and see our doctor for our own health maintenance.
Implied here, but not stated, is our attitude. We can control our attitude, and it is important that we not succumb to the "victim" role. Perhaps looking at our intentions for choosing to be caregivers is helpful; and, yes, I think we need to decide if we chose this or if it chose us. Regardless, conscious control of our attitude is supportive of good mental and physical health.
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