"The question is not if we can get through this life without failure, disappointment, and rejection--because we can't. The real question is: How will we respond?", Rabbi Harold Kushner.
A dear friend gave me the book, Still Alice, by Lisa Genova. Although fiction, it is well researched to give the perspective of a person developing dementia. It depicts a person who is well aware of her cognitive decline, which does not fit our situation, but it is helpful material. It is insightful to read what may be occurring within the mind and the feelings of the person for whom we provide care. I was struck by a paragraph in the foreword:
"Even then, more than a year earlier, there were neurons in her head, not too far from her ears, that were being strangled to death, too quietly for her to hear them,,,,or to warn her of what was happening before they died."
The book is an opportunity to catch a glimpse of perhaps what is happening as a person develops dementia. And, catching this glimpse can increase our understanding and our empathy. We may not be able to turn around the destruction that has been set in motion in the brain, but we most assuredly can control our response and the quality of life that results for us and for the person for whom we provide care.
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