There is a story, said to be true, of a woman who lost to sudden and unexpected death her significant love. Friends and neighbors came in their shock and grief to her home where she served them coffee and listened to their grief. Some people wondered why she did not appear to be grieving, did she not care?! Months later these people had gone on with their lives, while she was still deeply grieving.
This story seems similar to living with a terminal illness. One must continue with daily life and take on even more responsibilities, while still grieving. I think it was Virginia Satir who said whining is a small vent for anger. Then, I think, living with a terminal illness is a small vent for grieving. People have different judgments of how one is doing in dealing with the catastrophic illness. Some wondering how the caregiver can concern herself with some details of life. Others exclaim how well she is doing. It seems like it might be a good time to remember that most people are doing the best they can at any given moment.
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