Apr 6, 2011

His perspective

"Practicing kindness toward ourselves, we begin to think and act with greater kindness toward others," Dr. Joan Borysenko.

Readers sometimes say they would like me to write from Dwane's perspective, but, of course, that is impossible. We can never know what it is like to be in someone else's skin. But, with my trained observational skills as a psychologist, I can sometimes catch glimmers, and sometimes Dwane shares a bit of perspective --- like when he said last fall that he did not think he would be alive in three years. In observations: he wanted to go to a big lumber/household furnishings store to get a door. I decided just to let him take the lead. He went to the bathroom section and wandered and wandered among the bathtubs, sinks, etc. When I asked him where he was going, he seemed to think that the doors used to be sold in that area. I don't think that is correct, but it doesn't really matter. What was interesting to me is that he never stopped and asked one of the plentiful clerks for assistance, he did not appear to look at the big signs hanging from the ceiling, he did not seem to comprehend that interior doors would not be among bathtubs and sinks. It was like the time he was lost for 45 minutes on the cruise ship. I think he would have wandered indefinitely if I had not intervened. This is not the same wandering as one sees in Alzheimer's patients, where they are lost. It is a matter of being unable to make judgments and plan accordingly. Interesting.

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