Being Gentle With Ourselves and Others

"I have no power of miracle other than the attainment of quiet happiness.  I have no tact except the exercise of gentleness."  Oracle of Sumiyoshi

When I visit the nursing home, I see people arguing with their loved one or appearing awkward at how to deal with the altered reality of the loved one.  Both are normal human behaviors, but they are not helpful.  I never argue with my loved one.  The only time I try to change his thinking is when he is distraught over something.  Recently, he was very agitated because he felt he had to get his grades in (he was a teacher his whole life) and he was late.  Because he was agitated, I said to him that I had never known him to be late getting his grades in, and I requested he not worry about it.  Other times I will say to him that I will take care of whatever it is he is agitated about --- like where his car keys are.  That seems to be sufficient:  that I hear him and assure him it will be okay.  What works with your loved one?