Kindness

"We have a great deal more kindness than is ever spoken," Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Kindness seems to me to be one of the primary characteristics needed in caregiving. Kindness, clear thinking, organization skills, knowledge. The variation in lucidity is a characteristic of Lewy Bodies Dementia, as it is to some degree with most types of dementia. It can be disarming. We can in our case go from thoughtful comments on current events to seeing car wash facilities that are not there. It can make one wonder about one's own reality, and when to reflect back non reality. A training I once went through suggested that we choose to find the other person right. I think that is a good stance for most cases. There is often not a need for me to point out when he is wrong, unless, of course, safety is involved. Discernment of when to speak up and when to allow distortion (I guess if we really want to be thoughtful, we could consider that no one of us is sure that what we see really exists.) My rule of thumb is to speak of the illusion if there is benefit for the person for whom I am providing care. A careful consideration rather than just the need to be right; a human tendency. Most of all, I think it is important to avoid arguing to try to get him/her to see things as we do. As caregivers, let us make this task as problem-free as possible. One way is to carefully choose what to bring up to correct the other person.