Lighting the Candle

"Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle." Ben Franklin

We have all heard the story of the man who is looking for his car keys under a street light.  When someone stops to help him and asks where he dropped them, he points to a dark area down the road.  When the surprised helper asks him why he is looking here, rather than where he dropped them, he says "The light is better here."  Now, that is a joke.  But, how many times are we looking for something in the wrong place.  I have been in therapy for some months to deal with the grief and trauma of a dementia-related death.  It was only yesterday with my daughter that a therapist recognized what my deep sadness is about:  the loss of my partner.  It surprises me that people think, just because he had dementia, that he was not still -- in moments of lucidity -- the partner I love.  It is important we have people in our lives that help us look in the right places, because once a feeling is identified and honored, it can be processed and released.  I am grateful.