Kindness

"You can never err by treating everyone with respect, thoughtfulness, and a kind word.  Being kind doesn't mean being soft." Colin L. Powell

Good words for us who are involved in caregiving for someone with dementia.  I think that not only can you never err by being kind; it is never acceptable to be anything but kind.  However, kind does not mean we let the person with dementia bully us, interfere with our plans for his/her safety, be disrespectful, etc.  We are still going through a period where Dwane is displeased with being in assisted living.  Others who have found it necessary to put someone in assisted living tell me that it takes three months for the person to accept it.  It can be confusing when the person with dementia is resistant to the type of care we, as caregivers, determine is needed.  And, trust me, they will be resistant --- no matter what level of care is provided.  A component of Lewy Bodies Dementia, as told to me when we received the diagnosis at Mayo Clinic, is the inability to be aware of their own decline and functioning level.  That leaves us caregivers to be aware and to make the best decisions we can.  It may help to be objective:  is the person for whom you provide care able to pay bills?  drive?  shop and prepare food?  get in and out of chairs/beds?  dress independently? If the answer is 'no' to any of those questions, the person cannot live independently.  Then, you as caregiver have the burden of making the decision on what level of care is needed for his/her safety and well being.  The safety and well being of the person with dementia; and your own.