Rough phase

"Life is a process.  It's not really about doing and getting, but about being and knowing." Jesse Jennings

We have just gone through a very rough period with Dwane being strongly resistant to being in assisted living.  Oddly, it was rough for me the first month that he was in assisted living, and then it has gotten better.  For Dwane, it seems that the first couple days were rough, and then he was more accepting until the last couple weeks.  Perhaps it is because we both were tempted to think that his being in assisted living would provide him the rest and support that he could get more 'on his feet' physically.  Unrealistic of both of us.  One of the hardest parts of Lewy Bodies Dementia, or at least his with it being frontal lobe, is his unawareness of his own functioning compromises.  As Mayo Clinic neurologist told us:  he is unable to see his own cognitive limitations.  In the past few days he has called his sister to get him out of assisted living and called 911.  He seemed frantic that he could not get ahold of me, and unable to figure out how to call my cell phone.

It is hard for me to see him so dissatisfied, but I also know he is now living in a setting where his needs are best met.  I cannot do the 24/7 caregiving any longer.  This blog today is just a reminder for us all that the difficulties do not go away just because we have chosen respite care - in whatever form.  It is also a reminder that we have a spiritual obligation to get on with our own life.