Jun 1, 2012

Sacrifice

"the working definition of sacrifice -- giving up with reverence and compassion what no longer works in order to stay close to what is sacred." Mark Nepo

It seems that a number of times in my life I have been called to give up what is familiar in order to stay true to my spiritual path.  That even applies, I think, to caregiving.  I did it well, and with dedication and love for five years, and I am done.  I have given it up.  I have sacrificed it with reverence and compassion in order to stay true to my own path; and I know, that if I did not sacrifice the role of caregiving, I would sacrifice my entire self.

That does not mean I do not still advocate for and see Dwane, even when all he does is complain:  about the food, about the noise of the staff, about the problematic other resident, about his furniture that he wants to still use, about not putting flowers on a grave on Memorial Day, about not being able to see as well as he would like, about "this place".  I, too, am sorry our lives have come to this point, BUT I can no longer smooth the way for him.  He has to adjust to his new living situation.  Or not.  That is his choice.  But, my choice is to follow my own path, and to do so, I sacrifice the role of caregiving -- in the symbolic sense. 

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