Care of Caregiver

"Dementia is a condition in which a person's ability to nurture their own social needs is undoubtedly compromised. Consequently, depression, paranoia, agitation, irritability or even aggression can be expressions of unfulfilled social needs."  Angela Lunde, Mayo Newsletter
In this newsletter, Angela Lunde, covers the last of the areas that people with dementia fail to get their needs met, and that failure may result in behaviors such as those listed above.  The three areas she cites are health, environment and social.  It is her position that if we help the care receiver meet his/her needs in those three areas, then there is better behavior.  That is perhaps true, although some of the behavior I see appears to be a railing against the disease itself or an attempt (probably unconscious) to keep me 'locked in' as caregiver.  But, we as caregivers, probably have tried to help the person with dementia meet their needs socially, in physical health, and in their environment.  We do that with providing outings, taking them to health providers, and providing adaptive equipment.  But, what about the needs of the care receivers?  That seems to be as overlooked, or more over looked, consideration than the needs of the person with dementia.  As caregivers, we are focused on meeting the needs of the care receiver -- to the point that our own needs do not get met.  I have not had a physical exam for 2-3 years, because we spend so much time taking him to health providers I have not had the energy to make my own appointments.  Just yesterday I felt I finally had the time and space to make my own appointments for examinations and to schedule the cataract surgery I have needed for some time. 

It is good to consider the needs of the person with dementia, but not at the expense of our own needs.  Let us make sure we too are taking care of our own health, having some social connectedness in our lives, and living in conditions that support us.  At least the person with dementia has us to monitor his or her needs.  Who do we have?  Perhaps just ourselves. Then, let us be as good at looking after our own needs as we are at providing caregiving.