"Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water, yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible, nothing can surpass it. The soft overcomes the hard; the gentle overcomes the rigid, everyone knows this is true, but few can put it into practice." Tao Te Ching
How can we be gentle, yet strong, with the care receiver? We are going through another period where he is very dissatisfied, complains of most everything, wants a vehicle to drive. When he is belligerent, I tend to get tight in my chest and frustrated ---- this is ground we have covered over and over. I remember a dear friend whose father had Lewy Bodies Dementia telling me that even after some time in assisted living her father would tell her he wanted her to take him home. So, perhaps it is good for me to realize this periodic dissatisfaction may never end. That way it does not surprise me any more. Reasoning with him does not work in these times of less lucidity, so what I do is the therapy tool of "broken record": just saying the same thing over and over, such as, "The neuropsychologist recommended that you be in assisted living." It serves neither of us to argue, so to repeat a sentence that is true seems to help alleviate the circling and swirling of thoughts and arguments.
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