Jul 10, 2012

Fear

"Fear wants us to act too soon." Mark Nepo

It seems that a fairly constant companion of caregiving is fear, or perhaps it would better be called anxiety.  Being fearful or anxious about the safety of the care receiver, the many physical aspects to address, dreading the resistance to suggestions for safety --- to name a few.  Your fears may be different from mine, but I am willing to bet you have some.  Part of the fear comes from what a reader wrote; that the moments of lucidity fool her into thinking she can continue to do this (care for him at home).  I agree.  The lucid moments are tricksters, which lull us into thinking things are better than they actually are.  Rather like the sirens, who lured sailors onto the rocks in ancient myths; lucid moments lull us into thinking 'this is not so bad'.  The lucid moments are also a gift, as they are a glimpse into the person we know and love.  But, we cannot let them fool us into dissuading ourselves to not put into place the most appropriate plan for safety and well being of the care receiver and ourselves.  Too often so much of our mental energy is going toward the well being of the care receiver, that our own well being takes a very, very back seat.  Two people have told me recently, "You are back."  I know that they mean that the essence of who I am is now available and is no longer tied in knots with concern for the care receiver.  Is your plan of safety and well being serving the care receiver?  Is it serving you?

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