Our Interconnection

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: "  William Shakespeare

The idea that we are all interconnected and that we spend our lives trying to meet our needs is not new.  Psychology has long pondered how we humans play what has been said or done to us throughout our lives.  None of us completely got our needs met while we were growing up.  We were raised by imperfect parents, so there is the thought that we spend our lives trying to get those needs met.  Regardless of whether that is true, we humans do seem to have patterns in our behaviors and relationships.  Mark Nepo says, "All the players in our dramas must be voiced before they will leave us be."  So, if in our family of origin we were the scapegoat, we will unconsciously look for situations in which we are the scapegoat.  It is familiar.  If we were the hero, we will look for situations in which we can shine to bolster our self esteem.  The way to stop this recycling of behavioral patterns is to recognize what need was not met, how we have tried to get that need met in ways that do not serve us, forgive ourselves and others for any trespasses on our souls, and engage in life in a new way.  It really is that simple.  But, it seems it is the only way to free ourselves from relationship patterns.  Take caregiving for example.  Have you been in situations before which called forth your caretaking skills?  I would venture that most of us have.  We might want to take a look at that.  If we are getting our needs met by being needed by someone who is unable to take care of him/herself, that does not serve us or the care receiver.  For certain, at this point in life we are caregivers.  Let us look to see if we are fulfilling a need by that caregiving.  This does not mean that we ditch the caregiving role midstream, but that we become clear about why we are doing it.  You may be surprised.