People Pleasing

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby

The word, codependent, has become so familiar to us that it is perhaps mainstream, and I happen to think it may be overused.  But.  For those of us who find ourselves caregivers for someone with dementia, I think the aspects of being codependent are part of the hazards of the role of caregiver.  And, what are the aspects of being codependent?   Losing ourselves and our own welfare in the service of taking care of someone else.  We are already trying to do too much, with too little support in many (most?) cases, and then there are the opinions of others.  I was talking with a friend recently who had to put her father into assisted living and then nursing home.  She said that of her two brothers, one supported her and helped with the decisions, and the other found fault with everything that was decided.  She said that even after her father's death, this family opposition caused an irreversible rift in the family.  At least she did have the one brother's support.  That is more than some who are caregivers have.  So, what are we to do about what decisions others think we should make or not have made?  The quote above is helpful.  We will never please everyone.  The only thing we can do is have as our support team the best doctors, neurologists, neuropsychologists, physical therapists, etc. that we can to help us make the best decisions we can.   We must not allow others' opinions to affect our own good judgment and decisions, made in good faith with the best possible professional input.