Feeling our Feelings

"The truth is that while analyzing and strategizing and preparing ourselves can occupy our minds, and may even prevent us from being hurt the same way twice, there is no substitute for giving the wound air, which in the case of the heart means saying deeply, without aversion or self pity, "ouch."  Mark Nepo

Like many humans, I analyze my part in things, try to figure out what I did that I could have done differently, and that is not altogether a bad thing.  But.  To try to understand 'why' can divert us from the true work, which is to feel the pain of the loss.