Grieving

"Bad times have a scientific value.  There are occasions a good learner would not miss." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am surprised at the depth of my grief with Dwane moving into assisted living.  I have led workshops helping people deal with loss and grief, and I have applied the principles of dealing with grief in my own life in times of loss and sadness.  Still.  I am stunned by how much grief I have with this new level of this insidious disease.  Dwane is adjusting remarkably well, except for upset caused by some nonsupportive phone calls he received, which were so upsetting to him his blood pressure elevated.  I wish I could protect him from all unpleasant happenings, but we caregivers cannot; the unpleasantness seems often to come from sources one might least likely expect. 

He has always demonstrated the ability to grapple with an issue and acclimate to it.  I, on the other hand, am still choosing seclusion, having only safe conversations, missing him and grieving that life has brought us to this point.  I believe, as do many mental health practitioners, that the best way to deal with emotions is to honor them by feeling them and letting them move through our body/mind/soul.  And, I am doing that.  I am also looking for the 'scientific value' in this; I don't want to miss it.  How do you honor the many grieving levels involved in dealing with dementia?