Jan 20, 2010
Missing objects
A friend whose husband died of dementia spoke to me recently about the number of missing objects she has discovered since his death. She thought it might be helpful for others to be aware that it appears that things get thrown out or lost by someone who has dementia. Of course, we have had the lost items too. Coats, keys, checkbooks. But she was talking about things of value around the home: rare coins, pieces of flatware, jewelry. She said she wished she had been checking the garbage before it was taken away. It seems it might be helpful for those of us giving care to someone with dementia to take steps to protect items of value.
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A few days ago you wrote about exchanging services with someone who was able to care for your husband while you were improving your life style, however you did not mention how your husband reacted to this. I think most of us would like to hear a little more about how Duane is doing, rather than hearing about your activities in such detail. Quite frankly, if we want to read thoughts on which to meditate, we can buy a book. This blog would be more helpful, in my opinion, if you told us day-to-day experiences WITH your husband and how he reacts. Is there any chance he could write a line or two in response to your comments?
ReplyDeleteGood point. Dwane does not (nor ever has) used the computer, but I will endeavor to include his reactions. The point of my blog is help caregivers and to give a perspective that is helpful to caregivers. I will add his reactions as I think they are helpful. Dwane does not react well to having someone come in. I have learned that I need to prepare him well in advance, by telling him about the person, and by telling him it is so that I can go and relax. He wants very much to remain at home, so sometimes cooperating with systems that help that happen is an incentive. But I (and we) must remember that for many types of dementia the person experiencing the dementia is truly unaware of their own decline and are not good judges of what they can and cannot do, so resistance is often his first response. I recommend reading "36 Hour Day" as it rally helps one to avoid what they call "catastrophic reactions". I give a lot of thought to how to present things to Dwane to elicit his cooperation and not his upset.
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