What beautiful weather we are having, fabulous snow, and great skiing. I went yesterday and was to connect with friends, but we missed each other. So, I enjoyed my own good company and practiced some techniques that my ski-instructor daughter taught me. My skiing is getting better. For some reason this season I was trying to do the well-learned technique of the 1970's, the stem christi. Well, that does not work with modern skies, and my quads were screaming because of the amount of wrong effort I was putting in to making turns. The technique my daughter pointed out to me: think of the skies as a unit, put weight on downhill ski, and then let uphill ski turn like "putting butter on toast". Fabulous!
A lesson to be applied to life. I want to listen to and trust my body. When something is going amiss, I want to seek good, reliable information to resolve the issue. If I am putting in too much effort, I'm probably not relaxing and having fun and using the right techniques. Great metaphor.
A curious mind would like to know what a ski lesson has to do with "living with dementia graciously"? Perhaps the trick is to leave the partner with dementia on his own, and go out and have FUN!! Sounds good to me, but what happens when I get home? My assistend living partner can not be left alone for two minutes, much less two hours or TWO DAYS!! Sounds as if you are not doing as much "assisting" as you think!
ReplyDeleteYou are presuming when you judge that Dwane was left alone.
ReplyDeleteRespite care for us, the caregivers, is so important. The person needing the care can only do well IF the caregiver is doing well. There are programs which can help provide you the respite. Have your tried Social Services Adult Services program? Perhaps it would help you. We must find ways to give ourselves breaks. I hope you find some ways. Readers: what ways have you as caregivers found respite for yourselves? Please share.
In our case an aide comes M-F for an hour and 40 mins to help with any personal care needs that my husband has. Although I am quite capable in doing them myself, one less thing I have to do is a tremendous relief. In turn he will actually do more for her than for me. I think it is because he knows she will only be here a short time so he better get it done, where with me he can keep putting things off if I'm the one helping with such needs.
ReplyDeleteWhile she is here I get a short break to run an errand. I admit that the time is too short but I am blessed to have what I have and I haven't run out of milk or toilet paper yet ;-) We are in the process of getting respite hours, less days more time for me. I just don't want to lose the aide I have right now to get those.
These services are proved through the Veterans Assoc as my husband is a Service Connected Veteran from the Korean War.
Twice a month I hire a private sitter for an additional 3 hrs with time running back to back with the aide. This provides me some very valuable "me" time. This is still in the new stages and getting it all to work together presents itself a challenge at times but I have been able to enjoy a lunch out on occasion and some window shopping.
Again blessed :)
Kathy
Kathy, thank you so much for your comments and suggestions. That is exactly what I wanted with my blog: the respectful and helpful sharing of ideas and support.
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