Yesterday for our "play date" we went to a favorite bookstore, had lunch out and went to see the movie, Avatar. Interesting. I had wanted to see it because it is a cultural phenomenon, and Dwane was a good sport about it. We had some gift certificates we wanted to use at the bookstore, and it was fun to pick and choose. Today another winter storm, so groceries and a good book will be good to have.
Of the things which are hard for me as a caregiver, perhaps the most significant one is to witness Dwane's disappointments and hurts in relationships. When he shares how someone's actions disappoint or hurt him, it makes me wonder what are people thinking? He has a terminal illness. He is dying. Why can't everyone be kind and gracious to him?! Especially those one could most expect to be kind.
This very thing hurts my heart also when I see how my husband is 'feared' as if what he has is horribly contagious. Friends and so called friends avoid or have forsaken him. I don't think most of them do it on purpose. Perhaps it is just fear, not knowing how to react or respond to his conversations or more so lack of them. He is quiet, says very little, stares, responds so slowly or not at all, at times incoherently and it makes for uncomfortable situation for the person who does not deal with him on a daily basis. Some times I want to shout at them and say, "He's still in there, he just can't get out!"
ReplyDeleteOne of my prayers is that this teaches me to be a better and more compassionate friend.
I love what you are saying and what your intentions are for you, for him, and for your friends. Many blessings. Judith
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