Jul 13, 2011

Reevaluating

"Dreaming takes place during those relaxed times where nothing is scheduled and we are not focused on our never-ending-to-do lists.  In those quiet, unscheduled times, we can ask ourselves where we are living small." Joanne McFadden.

Bone tired.  That was how I recently wrote that caregivers were describing themselves or being viewed by others, and now I am too.  I am working in doctor appointments and other errands, neighborhood meetings, time with more visitors from out of town and resulting activities -- all very good and all a lot in addition to ordering and dispensing medications, doing bills, etc., etc.  I forgot to put the garbage out for collection; a sign I am overloaded.  That and the headache.

News from the doctor is foot surgery is imminent.  The ulcerated corn which has infected and invaded bone has not responded fully to the brace, and now surgery.  And, the last surgery he had we were told to avoid any surgery because of the extreme hallucinations and belligerence caused by anesthesia and pain medications.  So, frankly, I am scared.  They will operate and then send him home with me. 

Today I will take time to review.  I do not have enough support and respite.  I believe I am living small in the area of support and respite.

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