Revelation

"Revelation:  An act of revealing, especially a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized." American Heritage Dictionary

It has occurred to me this week that a large part of my stress has been setting up support systems and intended-respite for myself and then trying to get Dwane to cooperate with what I have set up.  Respected sources recommend that the caregiver does not discuss these things, just sets them up, and leaves.  And I am sure that works with some types of dementia and some people who are caregivers; but it was not working for me.  A large part of my stress was from being secretive and then worrying if I could get Dwane to go along with it.  So, I tried a different approach yesterday.  I told Dwane that I am going to see my grandson, and that ethically I needed to ensure I was leaving him in a safe environment.  Then I gave him two choices:  he could have someone come in that we paid or he could go for a few days to a room within an assisted living setting.  He was, as I expected, opposed and insisted he could stay alone - even though he does not drive, cook or handle emergencies.  But I was very firm and told him that if he wants to remain at home, it can only be with my getting regular breaks monthly.  He has two days to make his choice.  Please hold us in your good thoughts, and I will let you know how this new approach works.