Surviving Caregiving

"Nearly one-third of us will provide long-term care for a sick, disabled or elderly family member or friend during our lifetime, helping those we love get to their doctor's appointments, remember to take medications and eat right." Lindsey Konkel

Lindsey writes of the difficulty of caregiving for a loved one.  She gives two keys to surviving the caregiving task:  1.  Keep yourself emotional and physically healthy and 2. Ask what you can do to help instead of simply jumping in.  I would say that the number 2 suggestion would work only if the person for whom you are providing caregiving is cognitively able to assess what he/she needs and to respond to you when you ask.  For those of us who provide caregiving for someone with dementia, it is futile to ask what they need.  What they need and want are so distant from what is realistic and attainable.  We also do much more than help the person get to doctor's appointments (although we certainly spend a lot of time doing that!) and helping with medications.   We also help them have social opportunities, protect their financial assets, make very difficult decisions with their best interest in mind, take over all responsibilities for food, maintenance, vehicle repair, yard work, household tasks, fiscal responsibilities, etc., etc., etc.  I agree that the number 1 thing we can do for ourselves is to invest in our own emotional and physical health.  How recently have you had a massage or a long bath or lunch with a friend?  How about scheduling your favorite refresher this week?