What Would I Want Done To Me?

"The nursing home decision is a lesser-of-two-evils type of choice.  It would be better if people could remain healthy and self-sustaining until they died. If that is not possible, then any alternative is not very desirable."  Doug Manning

I was called by a married couple who know me to come help them with their finances.  They were moved into assisted living about one year ago.  Though they do not have many financial resources, by some people's standards, they have too many to qualify for Title 19 (Medicaid).  So, they are trying to pay the $4700 per month cost of the assisted living facility out of pocket, and their joint Social Security and his Veteran's pension do not cover the cost.  Then, they also have medication costs, a phone, newspaper, and like to buy things to snack on that they enjoy.  Very, very sobering.  While I was there, the man was showing me something when he fell backward.  As I was standing beside him, I was able to catch him before he fell to the floor and call for help to get him to a chair.  It reminded me of my loved one's first months.  Still wanting his regular life (and who can blame him!!), but not physically or cognitively able to manage it any more.  In every decision I make I try to consider, What would I want done to me?  No one wants to give up their freedom and be in an assisted living facility or nursing home, but statistics indicate that many of us will need that support during our end days.  So, perhaps the best we can do is try to decide based on the very most humane options possible, within the given circumstances, .