"The truth is heavy enough without the additional weight of the world's scrutiny . . . . " Diane Setterfield.
Just finished a most satisfying novel, The Thirteenth Tale, by the above author. Lovely language. A good novel, like a good movie/play/opera, is a good diversion for me from the dramas of being a dementia caregiver. Into our third year of living with this diagnosis, I am still surprised at the people who feel free to tell me how to do it. And, those bits of unsolicited and unwanted advice range all the way from people "seeing nothing wrong" to others who pressure to put him in assisted living. Amazing! No one can know what living with dementia (or any other challenging situation) is like unless they have done it, and even then; they do not know the specifics of our situation. So, borrowing from and paraphrasing a line from Macbeth, "Away cursed spot of unhelpful advice." (Just saw Verdi's opera, Macbeth, yesterday, so its poetry is still fresh on my mind.)
For anyone who wants to be helpful to someone providing caregiving for dementia or any other challenging situation, offer support but do not offer advice, unless asked. Even as a trained and skillful mental health provider, I shy from ever giving advice. I trust, instead, in the inner wisdom of the person to find his or her own way through the quagmire with my nonjudgmental support.
Love this post. And I can attest to the nonjudgmental support freely given by the writer because I have been the lucky recipient of that gift for many years.
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