"I want to unfold. I don't want to stay folded anywhere, because where I am folded, there I am a lie." Rilke
So many sources tell us that an examined life is the preferred one. Nepo says we should be like flags where the rips of living let through the blasts of wind too painful to hold. Of one thing we can be certain, life does contain challenges: things we might prefer not to experience. Perhaps being a caregiver for someone with dementia is one of those things. Having dementia is certainly another. Even little things -- like the unexpected difficulty adjusting visually to cataract surgery -- can be the events that cause the rips of living in us. Perhaps part of the secret in living well is to realize what are big events and what are small. Cataract surgery, while disconcerting in its adjustment, is a small thing. Dementia, or any other progressive and terminal disease, is a big thing. Perhaps it is true that in facing the small events, we are better able to prevent the big events from taking us asunder.
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