Self Comfort

"It's surprising how many persons go through life

without ever recognizing that Their feelings toward other people

are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves,

and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be

comfortable with others."   ~ Sydney J. Harris

 

It has taken me several decades to realize the above statement is true.  Psychologists call it projection -- when we project onto someone else a quality we dislike or do not recognize in ourselves.  Perhaps our life journey is about recognizing and owning all the parts of ourselves so that we do not place them in judgment upon someone else.  In the book, Rise to Greatness, about Abraham Lincoln, the author says that was a remarkable thing about Lincoln:  his comfort with himself and his ability to not take personally someone's actions that were designed to thwart him.  It is unlikely that most of us will have the impact of Lincoln, but we can apply to ourselves what he seems to have developed:   self comfort.  Complete acceptance of and comfort with ourselves.  One way to gauge how we are doing with that is to notice how we talk  to and think about ourselves.  I have heard people call themselves "dummy" when they accidentally dropped something -- that is a habit worth breaking.  Let us be sure to speak gently and with kindness to and about ourselves.  It is very important - for ourselves and for others.