Expectations

"Nothing creates more unhappiness than failed expectations  . . . . . Expectations are an attempt to control the future." Deepak Chopra.

Many years ago a wise therapist told me much the same thing.  She said that resentments were caused by having expectations.  It is probably true.  Think of some of your greatest disappointments.  Were they, perhaps, because you had expectations of something different?  Most of the time, it seems to me, our expectations are of how we think we can expect other people to behave; and then when they don't behave that way, we have resentments.  Far better, it seems, is to not place upon people and future events our own expectations.  Instead, let us be prepared to glean from the moment (each and every moment) what is there to glean.  This does not mean that we accept ill treatment from others.  There are, unfortunately, people who will mistreat us or be dishonest with us.  It is better to choose to not be around those people than to resent their behavior toward us. 

Not having expectations is a good technique for dementia caregivers too.  It is important, it seems to me, to release any expectations we have of how the care receiver will behave.  He or she is not the same person they used to be.  We are saving ourselves a lot of angst if we do not expect them to be.