"On matters of style, swim with the current.  On matters of principle, stand like a rock."
Thomas Jefferson

Good advice, although I also question the matter of swimming with the current on one's style.  Better, it seems, is to set one's own sense of style.  But, the important thing is that we do not bend on our principles.  As caregivers, what is your bottom line?   Mine is to provide caregiving with love, respect and graciousness.  All other little things can fall by the wayside, as we will not have energy to tackle all things.  The fact that I do not like the shirt that was picked out to go with his pants is nothing.  The way he is treated is everything.