Resisting Being Shaped By Others

"The whole world could praise Sung-Jung Tzu and it wouldn't make him exert himself.  The whole world could condemn him and it wouldn't make him mope.  He drew a clear line between the internal and the external." Chuang Tzu

As caregivers, we will have many people who have judgments about how we could or should be doing our caregiving.  If your loved one is in a care facility, there will be those who think you visit too often or too little.  I know caregivers who never visit their loved one in a care facility, and others who go every day.  We must do what we determine is right for us.  My plan is to visit my loved one three times a week.  Could I go more?  Of course.  Why did I choose three times?  Because it is a 2-hour round trip drive for me, and I have returned to work to offset the expense of his care.  I know there are people who think I should go every day, but that would be very challenging for me within my commitments.  There will also be the judgment of others about the care we choose for our loved one.  It is critical that we decide, based on what is best for us and our loved one, and that we, then, draw a clear line so that others' opinions do not affect us.  As long as our decisions are based in love, we can be assured they are right -- for us and our loved one.