The Emotions of Caregiving

"If you are thirsty, you cannot dip your face in a stream and say, "I'll drink only the hydrogen and not the oxygen."  The life of feeling is no different." Mark Nepo

Sometimes it is tempting to try to avoid the feelings of sorrow and sadness, but - just as we cannot separate hydrogen from oxygen when we drink - we cannot separate joy and sadness from our lives.  We will feel both, and I believe we will feel joy more fully when we choose to feel sadness more fully.  Our range of emotions is expanded when we feel our feelings.  Yesterday was a rainy day here, and I found myself crying, which is very unusual for me, -- crying over the impending death of my loved one.  I spent the day going through things I want his daughter to have and through photos that might be used at his funeral.  When I was a little girl I went to my favorite grandmother's funeral - the priest was drunk and the funeral was completely anonymous -- it could have been a funeral for anyone.  I was so shocked and saddened that I promised myself that no one I loved would ever die without her/his life being honored and celebrated.  I want people to remember the goodness and quirkiness and uniqueness of Dwane.